Shikanenai
by Duo no Tsuin
Summary: Duo has been captured during a failed mission. If the other pilots find him, will it still be too late? Will the thought of losing the braided pilot be too much to quell long hidden urges? Yeah, that description sucks. **Complete**
1. Shikanenai: It begins

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Title: Shikanenai – Part 1

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Series: Gundam Wing

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Standard Disclaimers: 

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own _Justice Boy_'s official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "_Futou!!_" _No_, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops*But I _did_, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

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Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

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Rating: for reasons below . . . PG–13 

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Warnings: 

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama – Duo-chained-up – ( not like _that_ you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

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Shikanenai

– capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

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PART ONE

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Damn! How do I get myself into these messes? Duo thought. His hands were shackled. From them, he hung like a caught fish. _Though . . . a fish would be struggling. Unless it was dead_. He hung his head. _Or sensed his imminent death._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Nataku, again I must ask you to lend me your enduring strength. The air is thick and heavy, weighing us all down. The days are difficult. Duo, the loud American pilot, is missing, presumed dead. I, myself, am not all that surprised. He takes risks that we don't. Believing himself to be the God of Death, he has lost sight of his own mortality. 

The others are taking it hard. Quatre is grieving openly and even Trowa is exceptionally quiet. Heero is, by far, reacting the most severely of them all. He is always focused and quietly awaiting the next mission. But lately that focus is short of obsession as he sits and stares at the computer monitor for hours on end. And now he is silent. Before, it was rare to hear him speak, except for the occurrence of him speaking rather than punching Duo at his taunting, and now he speaks only when his intentions can't be read by us. And, unluckily for him, that is not something we specialize in. No, that was Duo's department. Somehow, Duo seemed to know him as we never could. Heero will show us nothing of his feelings. In fact, maybe Duo knows all of us better than even we do ourselves. He was always like that. He will be missed. 

As much as I feel that I shouldn't think it, let alone speak it, I know that now he is gone. Things will never be the same. I fear, yes, fear for our collective sanity. Not that we were ever "sane." But with the absence of such a colorful soul amongst us, we will inevitably be drawn deeper into the war and the darkness. If we lose sight of the effects of war, then what will we be fighting for then?

"Lend me your strength, Nataku, to face the new future and the impending eternal damnation of our souls."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

As Quatre turned his gaze to the window, the sky darkened, and the clouds opened up, showering the house in its time of grief. "It started raining. Seems fitting that the sky should cry instead of us," Quatre observed.

"Hn."

"Don't worry, Heero. Something will turn up," Quatre said reassuringly as he returned his gaze to whatever greeted Heero's persistence. 

Trowa walked up behind Quatre, placing his right hand on Quatre's left shoulder. "I think . . . " 

"He needs to be alone. I know," Quatre agreed softly. Trowa's arm moved to encircle his shoulders. Quatre leaned into him, grateful that his Trowa was as strong as he always was . . . if not more. They began to walk out of the room, leaving Heero to glance quickly at the steadfast couple. 

He looked quickly back to the computer screen. The black screen that glowed green. _Green. Was that envy I felt? I have no reason to be envious. But Duo . . . Duo . . ._ He thought of the outrageous American boy. Duo had his vanity and boisterousness. And Heero had his determination and commitment. _He was just a loud mouth. A baka. He annoyed everyone. They all miss him, though, even Wufei. Now he has no one to make fun of. Quatre and Duo are . . . were close, as close as any of us can get to another as friends. They were so much alike. And Trowa, well, he has Quatre. And Quatre needs him right now. What do I have? Nothing. Only the mission. But without a mission in war, what do I have then?_

The computer screen dimmed suddenly, fading to black. Then, it was alive with the code. Heero went to decoding the message, which took little time for his apprehensive fingers. He scanned the information. "Just a routine mission." He sighed. "Infiltrate OZ base . . . steal the location of the secret OZ MS manufacturing plant from the main computer . . . and get out." A 3D layout of the base was included. Heero scanned it, memorizing his route. "Mission . . . accepted."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo still hung in the prison, awaiting whatever fate lie ahead. The initial wrap session had passed. He had said nothing. _Not that Heero would ever care. He'd sooner shoot me on sight then ki- . . . dammit! How did his stupid, luscious, pouting mouth get into this?! Aw man! Now there's no way I'm going to get any sleep. Damn you, Heero!_ He cursed silently.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Hm?" Heero and Wing flew closer to the installation. Thankfully, it had stopped raining and the sky had cleared before he left. Not that it _really _mattered. He knew the area. He would hide Wing and infiltrate. "Just a routine mission."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Trowa?"

"Yes, Quatre?"

"You're tense."

"More than usual?" His eyebrow rose.

"Trowa!" He nudged Trowa's taut muscular arm. "Firm maybe, but not tense . . . I hope." 

Trowa smiled lightly. "Never for you."

"But for another? I mean . . . Heero and Duo?"

"Heero believes Duo is dead."

"But I am not so sure."

"You're not." It was not a question.

"Call it a feeling, but I just _know_ he is alive. Why _do_ you seem tense tonight? Is it because Heero left so suddenly? It was just a routine mission . . ." 

"But Heero left _quickly _. . ."

"To find Duo, maybe?"

"Not intentionally. Right now, he thinks only of the mission ahead of him."

"And not the long-haired Duo?"

"He is trying not to show any feelings . . ."

"But he kept staring at that computer screen . . ."

"Hoping to see . . ."

"Something . . ."

"_Any_ mission. All he knows is war. It is all that he has that is stable in his life now."

"Especially with . . ." Quatre's eyes began to swell with tears. Trowa took Quatre's face in his hands. "But what if Duo really is . . ." As Quatre closed his eyes, a tear began to fall. Trowa brought Quatre's face to his lips and kissed it away. He then kissed the same place beneath the other eye. 

"No more worries, my little Quatre. And no more tears. If Duo really _is _alive, then we _will _find him. I promise you that. But we can't give up. If we do, then we'll lose him forever."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Poison. It has to be. Duo thought groggily. _First questions, then torture, and when they could take no more . . . poison. And not truth serum. What a shame. I could really use some of that stuff with Heero. Heero . . . The dark-haired Japanese with the intense prussian blue gaze. I could be forever lost in the darkness of those eyes. It's so dark . . . and so inviting . . ._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Heero sat at the main terminal of the OZ installation's central control center working furiously. Two guards lay behind him on the cold floor. They would not be waking up until Heero was long gone. That was, until Heero caught sight of the security monitors. He scanned each screen for movement. _Still clear._ Suddenly, his gaze stopped on a long braided, dark clothed figure hanging limply from the ceiling in a prison cell. Heero's heart stopped. "Duo . . ." he breathed aloud. Then, as if sensing eyes boring onto him, Duo looked up. His lip was bleeding onto his white collar. Though his bangs sheltered his eyes, Heero knew that Duo was in bad shape. _Has he been tortured? If so, has he said anything?_ Heero waited no longer. 

As Heero ran calmly but still quickly and silently through the maze of the installation, he followed the virtual map in his head. Every guard that crossed his path was quickly taken care of. Within minutes, he had entered the prison sector. Heero looked around the corner cautiously. A guard stood watching the door to the appropriate cell. Tearing off an OZ uniform button, Heero threw in down the opposite hall. The guard stirred, raised his gun, and walked down the hall.

Heero glued himself to the wall, waiting, with his gun handle raised. As the guard passed, the gun grip was brought hard against the back of his head. Heero bent to the body and lifted the cell keys.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Huh? What was that?" Duo said as his eyes suddenly opened. He winced in pain. _The poison works quickly._ Keys in the lock! Duo looked straight ahead as the door to the dark cell opened, flooding with white light. A dark figure in an OZ uniform looked in the doorway, gun drawn, and pointed it at Duo's heart. Duo's eyes hardened. "So . . . the poison _was _too slow for you after all. Come on, kill me now and just get it over with! I still won't tell you _anything_, so pull the trigger already!" He waited for the click of the gun's lever. As the gun was cocked slowly, Duo yelled, "Come on! _Kill_ me! Just pull the trigger!" Duo's angry eyes flashed on the dark figure and his trigger finger froze just short of its limit. Duo wanted to see his prospective executioner's face. He wanted to know who had it in him to coldly extinguish the life of Shinigami, the God of Death. His strained eyes began adjusting to the new light. The form before him began taking shape . . . a face . . . with eyes. _Piercing_ eyes. Duo gasped. "Heero? Heero, is it you?"

Heero lowered his gun slightly.

"It _is_ you!" Dark recognition hit Duo hard, but he would not let Heero know as much. "So. . . . you came to kill me. Fine. Do it now." 

Heero raised his gun once more. _How can he just hang there like that? I'm here to kill him. And yet, he has a calm grin on his face. He is ready to die._

"Do not hesitate to kill me. I do not fear Death."

"No, you don't." Heero lowered his gun and put it behind his back. He walked toward Duo.

"Decide that you want to beat me to death instead?" Heero grabbed Duo's waist firmly in his strong hands and lifted him. Duo's breath left his lungs quickly and silently. As Heero lowered Duo down, his shackled arms fell about Heero's neck. "Uh . . . sorry, Heero. Guess the poison's stronger than I thought."

Heero removed Duo's arms from around his neck, unlocked the shackles, and spoke, "Can you walk?"

"Oh, sure." Duo said with slurred words, trying to be cheerful. He put his hands on his hips. "I'm as steady as a . . . whoa!" Duo lost his balance and started to fall backwards. Heero grabbed Duo's arms and pulled him close. "Hey, Heero. What're ya doin'?" The alarm sounded and red lights shone.

"Getting you out of here." Heero slung his arm under Duo's shoulders and put Duo's arm behind his neck, supporting him all the way. Their escape was slow and staggering.

Duo stumbled and fell to the ground. Heero reached down for him, but Duo pushed him away. "Come on, Heero. Leave me. I'm ready to die."

"Not until I get some answers."

"_Yes_, I was tortured. _No_, I didn't tell them anything, except they could stick it up their . . ." Duo's head felt light. He grabbed his stomach and moaned. "And yes, they kicked the crap out of me and finally, to top things off, _poisoned_ me!"

OZ troops rounded the corner. "We've found the intruder and the prisoner! _Stop_ or . . ." Heero turned around and drew his gun in one fluid movement. As the OZ soldiers raised their guns, he fired. That was the last thing Duo saw as he was plunged into the warm depths of blackness.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

The grounds surrounding the house were heavily wooded, providing ample cover for the base nearby where the pilots stored their Gundams. Shrouded in the mist of the winter's night, the forest seemed to take on a new life filled with a light of its own. Directly in front of the house was a large grass-covered clearing that was separated from the house by a paved road. They both also seemed to take on new forms that night. The field was now covered in the dew of moonlight, sparkling like the now absent stars. And the road was a still river separating the warm world from the cold one.

Quatre continued to stare out the window watching for any change lest it come, seizing this eerily beautiful, dampened world from his sight.

__

Quatre's been standing there for hours just looking out that window, Trowa thought. _He senses something. But what?_

"Heero should have been back by now."

"Something must have come up," Wufei calculated from his sitting position across the couch with some papers to hold his attention.

Trowa, however, had only one thing . . . one _person_ on his mind. He went to stand next to the blond Arabian currently surrounded in an entrancing blue glow. _Is there a full moon tonight? If not tonight, then soon. Strange occurrences are said to accompany their arrival._ Trowa rarely believed such things, but he had never believed in that fabled thing called love, either. "You shouldn't worry, Quatre. Heero knows what he is doing," Trowa soothed.

Quatre nodded meekly. "I know."

A strong hand went to rest on his left shoulder. Wufei pretended not to notice. "You should get some rest, Quatre," Trowa said from behind. 

He was so close Quatre could feel the heart from Trowa's body burning into his back. Quatre leaned into the soothing touch. "I know, Trowa. It's just that since Duo . . . and now Heero's out there . . . I just have this feeling, that's all, and I don't know what to make of it."

Wufei interjected, "For once, you and I are in _complete_ agreement."

Letting his hand return to his side, Trowa turned his gaze to the back of the usually silent presence in the room. "You too, Wufei?" Trowa wondered. _If they both feel uneasy, then . . ._

"I see him!" 

Trowa turned to follow Quatre's wide eyed gaze while Wufei rushed to join the two window gazing pilots.

Walking steadily toward them engulfed by an unearthly blue light, the hazy black figure began to take definite shape. And there was Heero. Wasn't it? The mop of dark hair appeared to be his enough, and the barely covered legs came from rough and somewhat visually oversized work boots. But his torso and arms seemed bulkier and tightly drawn together. And what was that thing on his left shoulder? A . . . head?

Despite that all three pilots were drawn to the course of speechlessness, Wufei spoke. "Well, that's Heero, all right. But what's that he's carrying?"

"Duo!" Quatre distressed while simotaneously shaking his head widely and forcing a smile. "He found him. Heero actually _found_ him. I don't believe it."

As the dark figure continued closer, it began to take on its two distinct shapes. 

"And _I_ don't believe my eyes."

In the walking figure's arms hung a limp figure drawn tightly into a protective, and somewhat hopeful embrace.

Trowa understood. "Believe it, Wufei. After being captured, Duo was most likely . . ."

"Oh God, Duo!" Quatre cried in worry as he rushed out the door into the chill winter's night air, leaving two shocked pilots in his wake. He froze in his tracks on the porch. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo's head lie limply against Heero's upper chest and shoulders. Heero's right arm was weighted and looped under Duo's lean legs. The other was wrapped tightly around Duo's body. But both arms had one mission currently. Hold onto Duo and keep his body warm by holding him as tight and as close as necessary.

Contradictory to his determined, emotionless expression, he whispered, "Listen to my heart, Duo. Hear that sound and hold onto it. Stay with me. You can't die now. We're almost home."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

As Heero crossed the black river, Quatre asked warily, "Is he hurt, Heero?"

"Interrogated. And he mumbled something about poison."

His eyes grew wide in terror. "_Poison?_" He shook his head, stepped aside, and motioned to the door. "Take him to his room. I'll get the doctor."

As the protective benefactor of the other Gundam pilots, Quatre always insisted that they be prepared for anything. And this time, his instincts were right on the mark. Running through the corridors of the house, he hoped his efforts weren't too late.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Lying Duo carefully on his bed, Heero quickly surveyed the pilot's condition as he just as cautiously removed his shirt and pants. Underneath lie bruises, both old and newly forming. "Damn. What did those bastards do to you? And where the _Hell_ is the doctor?"

"Right here." The old form entered the room quickly with three pilots in succession and began the examination at Duo's right side. Touching a new age stethoscope to Duo's discolored skin, he noted, "His pulse is weak . . . breathing is quick and shallow . . . and his temperature is above the safe level," he finished as he eyed the device placed next to Duo's flushed skin.

"You mean . . ." Quatre began cautiously.

"I'll need to do some blood work," he said as he drew some blood.

"How long will that take?" Heero asked suddenly and forcefully from the opposite side of the room.

The startled doctor stared incredulously at the crass pilot. "I can't be sure. It depends on the poison and at what time it was used. Both of which we don't know."

Heero clenched his fists. "OZ's doing. Crosscheck your findings with a list of OZ supplies if need be. Just find the antidote and find it _now_."

The doctor nodded nervously. "Of course."

"Is there anything that we can do?" Quatre pondered.

"For now, just try and get that fever down to a safer level. Tell me, when did he first start showing signs of a fever?"

"After being given the poison, I found him and he was hot even then." Heero reiterated.

"I see. Well, even if I find an antidote, the fever could still . . ."

"Kill him? Or cause brain damage?"

Quatre's physician nodded. "Yes."

"Understood."

"Right. Wufei, you go help the doctor," Quatre ordered as the doctor exited the crowded room. Wufei nodded and left quickly. Scared to death but not wanting to show it for Heero's agitated self, he added, "Trowa, you and Heero help me cool Duo down. Trowa, let's get some water, sheets, and towels."

"And me?" Heero asked while dropping his hands hopelessly at his sides.

Quatre added tenderly, "Just stay with him."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Is it working?" Heero asked suddenly endless moments later, still standing at Duo's bedside.

Quatre looked up from Duo's right side. "I don't know . . . he's sweating so much . . ."

"I'll take over, Quatre," Trowa offered. "You check with the doctor."

"No need. I'm here and I have it," the doctor said brandishing a large, full syringe.

"Will it work?" Quatre asked.

"Well . . ."

"Administer the antidote _already_," Heero ordered coldly.

"I was just _about_ to . . ."

"Please, don't mind him, doctor. Continue. Trowa . . ." Quatre looked to him for help.

"I think you should come with me, Heero . . ." Trowa began.

"No. I'm staying," he stated while keeping his eyes on Trowa.

"Just let the doctor help him, Heero," Trowa reasoned.

Heero eyed the doctor's every movement. Clenching fists tight enough to draw blood, he pushed out the words intensely. "If _anything_ happens to him . . ."

"There, it's done." He had used to distraction to inject the fluid into Duo's arm. "Now all you have to do is wait."

"That's it?" He released his grip in a sighing rush. "Isn't there something _else_ you can do to help him?" All of the rooms conscious occupants could hear the note of desperation tinging his quiet voice.

"I've done all I can do for him. It's all up to him . . ." 

"A c-coma?" Quatre stuttered.

"Virtually, yes. Either way, he's fighting his own battle."

"And what if he decides to give up?!" Heero challenged.

"Then you must give him _hope_. I know only science. I can do nothing more. But you . . . his _friends_, _can_ and _must_ be there for him. All we can do is wait."

"But what about the fever?" Quatre asked anxiously.

"Keep working on it. It will take time."

Heero's unseemingly worried gaze darted to that of the tired, old doctor once more. "But how _much_ time?"

"_That_ is up to Duo."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

So it's up to Duo, Heero thought. _Hn. That baka would sooner embrace Death than . . . what? But he embraces life . . . and still speaks of himself only as Death._

Heero checked Duo's forehead. _Still hot._ Redampening the cloth, he began once more to mop at the sweat on his brow. 

__

Baka, how am I supposed to get you cleaned up if you keep sweating? Heero sighed mentally. _Keep fighting, Duo. Keep fighting. No matter what, we all must keep fighting._

Tenderly Heero wiped away the dirt and sweat of the days past. _Exactly how surprised would they be if they saw me doing this? Wufei would likely jump out of his own skin. And Trowa and Quatre . . . well, even they'd be pleasantly surprised. As for your face . . ._ Heero smirked to himself._ I wouldn't miss that for the world._

To be continued.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Ugh, I know, it's just sickening. *shrugs* What do you expect? It was my _real_ first fic, but it just needed so much tweaking (an understatement) that I couldn't even send it to someone to read until two years later. (I started writing this fic on May 1, 2000, so, yes, it is now over two years old) Please send all c&c to: duonotsuin@yahoo.com


	2. Shikanenai: Part 2

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Title: Shikanenai – Part 2

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Series: Gundam Wing

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Standard Disclaimers: 

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own _Justice Boy_'s official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "_Futou!!_" _No_, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops*But I _did_, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

****

Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

****

Rating: for reasons below . . . PG–13 

****

Warnings: 

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama – Duo-chained-up – ( not like _that_ you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

Shikanenai

– capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

PART TWO

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Hmm. Wh-what? Where . . . ?" Duo muttered sleepily as he opened his eyes. Wherever he was, it was dark. _The poison?_ He felt something cold and soft beneath his naked skin. _Naked!_ He felt around him. _Well, not completely, anyway._ As his eyes adjusted, Duo realized he was back in his room. _Only a dream,_ he thought. He began to sit up, _Only a . . . OW! _The pain in his abdomen told him otherwise. He groaned at the memory more than the pain. A noise. Movement. 

"Hm. So, you're alive."

Duo looked up. "Disappointed?"

Heero did not answer. "You took a heavy dose of poison and have been unconscious for a day. Your fever has gone down some . . . feel like seeing any visitors?"

Duo's trademark grin suddenly appeared. "Yeah, how's Quatre and every . . ." Duo tried to sit up again, but his head pounded and swam. 

"Poison's still not completely gone. And you still have all of your bumps and bruises as proof of your mistake."

"One thing I've _always_ admired about you, Heero, is your kindness toward others during their time of need. When did I get the antidote?"

"When we got back here. Passing out only made your condition worse. Easier for the poison to work that way."

"Yeah, well, it's not like I had much of a choice in the matter."

Heero looked as if he planned to say more, but he never got the chance.

"Duo!" Quatre cried as he walked into the room.

"Hey, Quatre. What's up?"

Quatre sat on the bed and pressed his wrist to Duo's forehead. "Your temperature, that's what."

"Quatre, I . . ." Trowa stopped as he walked into the room. "Duo's awake, I see."

"Yes, finally. We were worried about you."

"_All_ of you?"

"Well, you _finally_ woke up."

"Good to see you too, Wufei."

"Well, Heero, Trowa, and I . . ."

"Need to get out, now," Quatre ordered. "Duo needs to rest if he's to ever fully recuperate. Understood?" 

Wufei nodded and left. "As you wish, Quatre," Trowa said. Then he too turned and left. That left only Heero. Heero continued to look at Duo's weakened form.

"That goes for you as well, Heero."

"But . . ."

"Duo can debrief later. Your questions will have to wait." Reluctantly, Heero turned and left. Quatre followed him to the door and closed it. "Now that we're alone, how _are_ you feeling, Duo."

"I'm sore, stiff, tired, hungry, thirsty, and I want to get up out of this bed."

"Not so fast. The poison is still in your system . . ."

"As Heero pointed out. Now, can I at least have a glass of water."

"Of course." Quatre moved to the night stand and poured a glass of water from the iced pitcher already there. "Here, try this."

"Thanks." Duo sat up slowly, received the glass, and quickly downed the soothing liquid.

"More?"

"Thanks." He took another sip. "So what was _that_ doing here?"

"Heero's been in here since he brought you in. He refused to leave the room. I made him promise that he would leave once you woke up."

Duo nearly choked on his next sip of water. "Heero? The Heero that _we_ know?"

"Uh huh," Quatre nodded.

"Who would've thought . . . ?"

"You underestimate him."

"He probably just wanted to ask me questions as soon as he could. In fact, that's what he was trying to do when you walked in."

"Sorry."

"No reason to be sorry. It wasn't going anywhere."

He had said it before he even realized he had thought it. Quatre smiled. 

Duo set his glass down and yawned. "Guess I'm still tired." Again, he winced as he stretched. "Any chance I could get a painkiller or two to go with my water?"

Quatre shook his head. "Sorry, Duo. Not until the poison is completely gone. Only then, can we be sure there will be no drug interactions."

"Okay, but you owe me." Duo laid back down. "Now would be a good time to catch up on my lost sleep."

"Goodnight, Duo." Quatre rose to leave. 

"Night, Quatre. But first, just answer two things. Who undressed me? And how did I get so clean?"

Quatre smiled. "Goodnight, Duo." He closed the door behind him. 

Duo stared at the chair facing his bed. If he wasn't so tired, he could almost swear there was an imprint left of Heero's body in the chair. "Thanks, Heero."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"So, how is he doing?" Trowa asked Quatre.

"He regained consciousness. That's always a good sign. He was thirsty and expressed an interest in food. He wanted to get up, but his body is not cooperating."

"Should you have the doctor do some more blood work soon?"

"Tomorrow. Let him rest first. Anyway, when the fever is gone the poison should be as well. His fever is _down_, but he still needs much more rest. That reminds me . . . Heero?"

"Hm?"

"Duo just went to sleep, but you can check on him later if you want to. It seems that the worst of it is behind him."

"Hm. So it seems."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Later that night, Heero entered Duo's room quietly. He walked to Duo's side. Duo was sleeping heavily. Heero moved to the chair that he had left facing Duo and sat. _Sleep well, Duo._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo's sleep was troubled. He tossed and turned. Heero stood and walked over to Duo's bedside. Duo's brow was covered in sweat. _The fever?_ Heero's hand went to Duo's forehead. Hand hovering just about the skin, he could still feel the intense heat. Duo moved suddenly, mumbling incoherent words as his brow creased in frustration. In his sleep, Duo reached for something. He grabbed Heero's retreating hand. Heero tried to pull away, but Duo only held on tighter, pulling him closer. _He's strong in his sleep._ Both hands lie entangled upon Duo's sheet-covered chest. It started with a hand and soon became more. At first, Duo just laid clutching Heero's hand. But when Duo rolled onto his side, Heero's hand went with him. He now stood leaning over the bed at an awkward angle. 

This development left Heero with few options. He could either wake Duo up or just forcibly remove his hand. But Quatre would get upset, being as protective of the defenseless as he is. And when someone upsets Quatre, they then have Trowa to contend with. And it was too late in the day to start a fight.

Duo's braid lay across the bed. The sheet around him lay limply behind, exposing the taught muscles of his back. His side rose and fell in a steadier rhythm now. Could Heero's presence have helped? _Of course not._ As Heero continued to watch the American sleep, he realized how vulnerable Duo was. Heero sighed.

Slowly, taking care not to disturb the slumbering Duo, Heero moved Duo's braid aside and sat on the bed next to him. The bed shifted under the weight, but Duo did not wake. Time passed. Heero tried once more to remove his hand, but Duo continued to hold onto him possessively. _Oh, well._ Heero laid down on the bed next to Duo. _May as well wait it out. Nothing will happen that Duo doesn't want to._

As the night grew darker, Heero continued to observe Duo's progress while on his side. On this night, he slept more soundly. _But what had changed?_

When the moon had begun to rise, Duo rolled over once more. Only now, he faced Heero. Instead of his face being overly enthusiastic or caught in a moment of pain, it was almost peaceful. _Or do we all look like that when we sleep?_

Almost unknown to himself, his free hand went toward Duo's face. He told himself it was to check his temperature, which had gone, but he never registered it in his mind. Something _else_ demanded his attention. Duo's unruly chestnut bangs hung low over his hooded eyes. His delicate eyelashes hovered over the sensitive skin at the base of his eye sockets. Between them was his impish nose, _And, below them, those ridiculous cheeks._

Though moving slowly, his probing hand nearly grazed Duo's cheek, which appeared slightly discolored. _A bruise?_ Heero looked concerned to the other cheek. Discoloration was there was well. _Duo . . ._ His gaze moved lower. Duo's mouth was almost curved in a slight grin. But his lips were not of their usual even shade. While in the prison, most likely during an interrogation, Duo had somehow split his lip. Heero frowned. Curious, he moved a finger to probe the swollen lip. _Swollen when hit. But when swollen due to . . ._ Heero froze just before coming in contact with the smooth skin. Was he going to add what he thought he might add? _Of course not. What an unsubstantiated thought._ He drew his hand away. _I would never . . . we would never . . . but what if . . . ?_

Duo's movement interrupted Heero's thoughts. Duo moved toward Heero. He backed away as far as he could, which was only to end up lying back down on the bed. Though still asleep, Duo moved assuredly toward Heero. In his sleep, Duo sought a firm pillow and wrapped his arms around it. A contented grin spread across his face.

Still in shock, Heero made no move. _You've done it now. You are going to pay for this one._ He closed his eyes in thought and breathed out slowly and silently. Somehow, Duo had managed to roll on top of the arm whose hand he had held. _I wonder if I can move it._ He found that he could. Heero looked down. Through the chestnut bangs he could faintly see Duo's sleeping grin. _Oh, well. May as well make use of these peaceful moments. Though being around Duo is nowhere near peaceful._ Heero closed his eyes. And despite his previous thoughts, he was soon lulled peacefully asleep due to Duo's calming breaths and the rhythmic beats of his heart.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

When Duo awoke the next morning, he felt revitalized. He sighed. _If that poison's not gone now, then I must still be feeling its effects._ He smiled brightly. Regaining his other senses and the usual awareness that one needed as a Gundam pilot, Duo suddenly realized that he wasn't alone. _That or I squashed my pillow flat. But could I make it this firm? Or . . . _Cautiously Duo opened one eye. _I don't remember this bed having green pillows. And since when do pillows hold you back?_ Duo's eyes grew wide in shock. _Heero!_

Duo could now see that he was lying against Heero's chest with both arms embracing him. _Oh, no. Heero's going to kill me. But why hasn't he done it already? And why is he lying on my bed? And why is he holding me!_ Duo's mind was racing a mile a minute. _Oh, God. What should I do? Who knows what'll happen when Heero wakes up? Maybe nothing . . . but maybe . . . I've got to get out of here! But how? There's always the option of running as fast as I can and hoping Heero doesn't notice. Or maybe if I just . . ._

Duo tried to slide away from Heero and his grip. But Heero mumbled something unintelligible in his sleep and moved closer to Duo with enough force to knock the chestnut hair back onto the pillow in shock. Wide eyed, Duo stared at this new development. A heavenly Heero had his head upon Duo's naked chest. _Heavenly, yes, that's the only way to describe him. His eyes, though closed, look softer somehow._ Duo's eyes roamed to Heero's mouth. _He is almost smiling . . . like an angel._

Heero's breath was hot against his skin. His flesh felt hot. Electricity flowed through him. He had dreamed things like this, but this situation was _different._ The moment itself was Heaven. Being wrapped in Heero's arms _was_ heaven. And that's the way Duo wanted it. Just him, the God of Death, and Heero, his angel of . . . _his_ angel . . . if only it could be true.

__

But Heero has Relena. Whenever anyone just mentions her name, he gets that faraway look in his eyes. And when he says her name, his voice has an edge to it. I don't know what it means . . . and I don't care to know. I just want this moment, just this one moment. That's all I ask. Heero's hair glistened in the early morning light and silently beckoned. One elongated bang fell close to Heero's closed eye. Carefully, Duo reached for it and moved it away. Looking once more at the calm and contented face of the sleeping Heero, duo leaned down and placed a light, lingering kiss in Heero's unruly hair. _Sleep well, Heero. Sleep as long as you need to. I will still be here when you wake up. _Duo's arms wound around the sleeping figure, putting him tighter into the slumbering embrace. _This is how it should be. No wars. No Death. Just you and me, Heero. Together at last._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Quatre, are you all right?" Trowa asked the blond in his arms.

"I guess," Quatre sighed against Trowa's very well developed, naked chest.

"Worried about Duo?"

"Yeah. He suffered greatly at the hands of OZ."

"His wounds will heal soon."

"Physically, yes. But he holds so much inside. Though he thinks we don't see it, his cheerfulness is only a mask."

"We all have our masks."

"Especially us," Quatre mumbled below his breath.

"What, Quatre?"

"Duo and I are a lot alike . . . but _I _have _you_. Duo has . . ."

"A watchful Heero at his bedside."

Quatre smiled at his intuitive partner. "Yes . . ."

"And you have me."

"You sound very self-assured this morning, Trowa," Quatre smiled playfully.

Trowa answered Quatre with one of those rare, soothing smiles and a gentle kiss upon his mouth. "Do not worry, my Quatre. Things _will_ be better for Duo today."

"Do you think I should check on him?"

"Let him sleep. He will need it."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

As the light of noon crept through the window, Heero's eyes fluttered open and were, momentarily, blinded. _What time is it,_ he wondered. A glance at the bedside clock revealed his suspicions. He groaned. _Have I ever slept so long?_ Heero flexed his muscles as he continued to lie on the bed. _The bed . . ._ "Duo . . ." he breathed.

"So you're _finally_ awake, eh Heero?"

Temporarily startled, Heero reluctantly looked up into the bright violet eyes of Duo Maxwell. 

"So. . . . do you want to explain?"

Heero sat up slowly. "Explain what?" he asked calmly. 

Duo sat up quickly. "What you are doing here, of course!" Duo exclaimed as Heero stood. "It's not every day that I wake up in the arms of . . ."

"Stop it, Duo," Heero stated.

"Huh? But, Heero, you . . ."

"Went to check your progress during your fevered dreaming session and you grabbed me."

"I grabbed _you_! Hold on, who woke up with his arms around _whom_? Okay, bad example. But you could have said _something_."

Heero stood still with his back to Duo. Silence.

"Dammit, Heero! Talk to me!"

Still silence.

Duo dropped back onto the bed, crossing his arms behind his head. "You confuse me, you know. One minute you're practically pouncing on me in your sleep and the next you won't even _answer_ me. What a waste. What a perfectly good waste of time _that_ turned out to be."

Silent seconds became silent moments, passing slowly and agonizingly. "Good?"

"Yeah. That's what I said. A _good_ waste of time."

"Perfectly good."

"Yeah, yeah. _Perfectly_ good. So perfect that I almost forgot."

"About what?"

"Everything! You, me, the others, the war, even . . ."

"Even what?"

"Even," Duo nearly choked out the name, "Relena."

"Relena . . ."

__

Oh, great. Now you've done it, Duo.

"What about her?"

"The fact that she follows you around and . . ." Duo trailed off. He could say no more.

"Finish it, Duo."

__

You don't ever kill her. "Hn. She's the one who can get through to you. The _only_ one."

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Everyone sees it, Heero. The way you look at her when she figures you out, the way she looks at you . . . both of your actions speak for themselves."

"And actions are your proof?"

"As clear as a cloudless sky."

"Then what does this say?"

"Wha . . ." Duo was silenced with a kiss as his eyes began to open. A light kiss. Or, at least, it began as such. Duo was too shocked to do anything. His body was rigid with shock. Heero's body was poised above his own, propping himself on two hands on either side of Duo's. Duo pulled back. "Heero, I . . . I've never . . ."

"Shut up. You talk to much." Heero's lips met his again but this time harder, more demanding. Heero's tongue moved in an agonizing circle around Duo's lips, enticing entry. As Duo sighed at the new feeling, his mouth opened and Heero slipped inside, exploring and silencing. Duo leaned his head back further into the tangled mass of his bed, driving Heero's exploration further. Duo groaned in pleasure, forcing his tongue to go forward. He could already taste Heero. And he needed more.

Duo's hands reflexively went around Heero's neck, bringing him closer still. Heero's arms gave away around him, moving to the flesh beneath. When Heero's hands first brushed Duo's skin, he shivered. Heero pulled back suddenly. "Okay?" He asked.

"Better than okay." Heero's lip curled into a smile. _Have I ever seen him smile? If so, not like this._

Gently, Heero sought the swollen lips again. _Swollen?_ Reluctantly, Heero pulled away. His concerned eyes fell to Duo's lips.

"What? Why did you stop?"

"Your lip."

"My . . . lip?" Duo's hand sought his query. The cut on his lip had started bleeding again. Memories flashed before his face.

__

Damn. His lips were already swollen. Now, I can hardly tear myself from them. "Wait here." Heero stood, walked to the door, left the room, and closed the door again. 

Duo's eyes had followed him, shocked, as he left. Now, both from the shock and the unfilled urge within him, he frustratedly fell back onto the bed. Closing his eyes, he thought, _What happened? Where did he go? How could he leave me like this . . . wanting more . . . needing more? Dammit! Hurry up, come back, and finish what you started!_ Duo's breathing was quick and unsteady. _I never imagined it could be like this. Okay, I did, but I couldn't guess how my body . . . my whole being would be affected._ His chest was unnaturally hot and had begun to feel clammy under Heero's presence. He shivered again. _Hurry back, Heero. I think my fever's returned._

To be continued.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Aw, poor Duo. Here they _fi_nally hook up and then he leaves the room. Heh heh heh. I'm so damn evil. Send c&c to: duonotuin@yahoo.com


	3. Shikanenai: Part 3

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Title: Shikanenai – Part 3

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Series: Gundam Wing

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Standard Disclaimers: 

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own _Justice Boy_'s official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "_Futou!!_" _No_, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops*But I _did_, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

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Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

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Rating: for reasons below . . . PG–13 

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Warnings: 

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama – Duo-chained-up – ( not like _that_ you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

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Shikanenai

– capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

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PART THREE

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Lunch is ready," Quatre announced to the two pilots in the drawing room.

"Mmm, smells good," Trowa said following Quatre into the dining room.

Wufei trailed behind. "Hope it's nothing much. We still have plenty of work to do."

As Quatre and Trowa sat next to each other at the table, Wufei sat on the opposite side, pretending not to notice them. "Where's Heero?" Wufei said, breaking the lovers' silence. "Shouldn't he be watching for any possible missions?"

"Wh . . ." Quatre tried to ignore Trowa's hand beneath the table. "I haven't seen him yet today. He probably had something else to take care of. You know Heero. It's all missions for him."

"True. And Duo?"

"Well . . ." Quatre looked to Trowa. _Not now!_

"He should still be resting. Fever went down yesterday, but the poison was still a threat to him. He is, most likely, exhausted."

"Oh," Wufei hated . . . no, he _envied_ how they finished each other's sentences. _Quatre could speak for himself, but did he know what to say? And why not?_ "Good enough. Let him rest then. But his work load is starting to build up and carry to ours. The sooner he's rested the better. May as well have him working at maximum efficiency when he does." Wufei was interrupted by Heero's entrance. "Well, long time no see. Been working, Heero?"

Heero's response was his usual expressionless glare.

"Are you hungry, Heero? Join us for lunch," Quatre offered. 

Heero walked toward the kitchen door. "No thanks. I'm . . ."

"On a mission," Wufei piped in. "Your palette too refined? Or is the great Heero Yuy above letting someone else help him, in any way, even making a simple meal? Let alone he ever help another . . ."

Heero stopped and turned slowly. "It seems to me . . ." he began in an even, untainted tone, "That _you_, of all people, shouldn't be talking about the help people accept . . . as well as offer."

The two pilots' glares clashed. Quatre feared that the table between them would be torn to pieces. _What's going on? Usually, they keep at a distance and understand rather than contradict each other. Has something changed?_ "Have you checked on Duo's progress this morning, Heero?" Quatre asked calmly before sipping some tea.

"Hm. He's awake. See for yourself." Heero turned, pushed open the kitchen door, and left.

"So _that's _where he was," Wufei grumbled.

Quatre glared at Wufei. 

__

That's not like him, Trowa observed. "Quatre . . ."

"Yes, Trowa," Quatre would readily accept any change of subject.

"Why don't you go check on Duo? If he is up, ask him if he wants anything. I am sure he would appreciate the concern."

__

Yeah, unlike some people, Quatre thought almost bitterly. This was _definitely_ not like him. He decided to shake it off. He smiled instead. "Great idea, Trowa." He stood. "I should be back, soon. Continue without me."

Trowa nodded. When Quatre had left the room, Trowa looked at Wufei. "You should choose your words more wisely before you open your mouth to speak," he remarked calmly.

Wufei continued without answering Trowa's unwanted insight. When finished, he stood and went to Nataku. As he continued with his pre-lunch work, he spoke aloud, "Any one of them merely sneezes, and the others all offer handkerchiefs. There is no justice among them, Nataku. No sense of _true_ justice at all."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

After thinking nonstop since Heero's sudden departure, Duo became slowly more irritated. But he _would_ be back. _Now all I need is a little act in my favor. He's not getting off this easy._

Duo heard a light knock on the door. Quickly, he rolled onto his side and pulled up the sheet. _Wait a minute! Since when does Heero ever knock?_

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

No answer, Quatre thought. _Is he still asleep?_ He opened the unlocked door a crack. "Duo," he whispered, "Are you awake?"

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Only Quatre, Duo sighed. _Hey! What's gotten into me? Quatre's my friend. I can't just lie here and pretend that I'm sleeping. But if I don't pretend to wake up, then he'll ask questions. Play through it, Duo._ Duo feigned a yawn, stretching as he turned on his back. "Hey, Quatre, morning!" He said in a faux sleep tinged but cheerful voice.

Quatre chuckled. "Actually, it's the afternoon, but good morning anyway." Quatre approached Duo's bed. "So how are you today? Feeling _any_ better?" 

"Well, I got _a lot_ of sleep."

"You're cheerful. That's a good sign. How about the fever?"

"Haven't checked."

"Let me, then." Quatre walked up to Duo and placed his wrist on Duo's sweating forehead.

__

Why am I sweating so much? I wish Heero was here instead. What am I saying? Quatre's my friend. But does he know me too well? Does he know? If I find out that Heero said something to any of them about us, then I'll . . .

"You're _very_ hot! And sweating too!"

Duo tried not to smile. _He_ knew why he was hot. _Damn you, Heero . . ._ "Well, I guess I'm not ready to get up yet."

"_Definitely_ not. If I catch you out of here before you're ready, then I'll . . . I'll . . ."

"You'll what?"

"I'll cut off your hair, that's what!"

"_What!_" Duo's eyes opened wide and his jaw dropped.

Quatre smiled. "Yeah, that's right I will. Now, get some _more_ rest. The doctor should be in to check up on you this evening. You need to heal up, Duo. We're expecting some missions soon."

"Yeah." Duo dreaded the thought of not being with them on their next mission. _Deathscythe, you and I need to be working in top condition then. We won't let anything happen to any of them. Especially Heero . . ._

"Oh, I almost forgot. You need anything? I'd be happy to bring it up."

"Not unless you could have Trowa pick up Heero and drag him back up here," Duo muttered as Quatre walked to the door. 

"What was that, Duo?" Quatre asked as he turned.

"Aw, nothing. I'm fine right here. Although, I would like to check on Deathscythe."

Quatre shook his head. "There's no need. Deathscythe is being taken care of."

"Just out of curiosity . . . by whom?" Quatre opened the door.

He smiled. "Ask Wufei, he's been in with the Gundams all night," Quatre closed the door without waiting for a reply.

"What the . . . _man_! What in the name of Death's playground is going on around here?" _Maybe he was just goofing around. Quatre plays mind games. He probably just figured out that I'm not still ill. I feel bad about that . . . And Quatre sympathizes. After all, he and Trowa had to start somewhere. Secret liaisons are tools of lovers' hearts . . . and bodies. A sin indeed. Oh, God, I'm sorry. What has become of the God of Death? Has his dark heart once more been tainted by love? Love is your teaching . . . your way. But for me love . . . love is a curse. My eternal damnation. All those I love have died. Where's the love and justice in that? Oh, no. Seems like old justice driven Wufei's rubbed off on me._

"Today, I'm on a mission. And, like Heero, _nothing_ is going to stop me."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Trowa sat in the drawing room reviewing some reconnaissance information. Heero walked in the room and straight to the computer with a small bundle in his hand. "Any new missions," he asked.

"Not in the last ten minutes."

"Better check anyway." He sat in front of the computer and after clicking the keys for a few moments, the screen flashed. 

"Anything?"

"No." Heero typed a few strokes, finishing his task, and said quietly as he stood up, "Good."

Trowa raised an eyebrow. As Heero picked up his bundle again and walked determinedly to the exit, Trowa said, "Quatre should be there now. He and I will be leaving on a recon-mission to check out that location you brought back. We will be back tomorrow."

"Mission brief available?"

Trowa nodded.

"Fine."

"Wufei is still with the Gundams doing some repairs. Should take him all day . . . maybe even the night, knowing Wufei."

"Fine."

"Tell Duo to heal up quickly."

"He will. You and I both have our missions." And with that, Heero was gone.

Trowa smiled.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

As Heero walked to Duo's room, he found his breath rushing out of him. He could still taste Duo's blood in his mouth. Never had blood tasted so sweet. Never had _anything_ tasted so sweet. "Duo . . ." When Heero reached out his hand to the doorknob, he noticed it was shaking. _Shaking? Why? I've been alone with Duo plenty of times. So why should now be any different?_ Swallowing back his remaining insecurities, Heero gripped the doorknob and turned it. He opened the door slowly, but when the door creaked, he stopped again. He sighed. _Remember, he's waiting for you. That is your new mission._ He pushed open the door. The bed was empty. "Duo?" The sound of running water greeted his alarmed ear. He moved to the bathroom door and tested the knob. Unlocked! Pushing the door open, a wave of steam rushed onto his face. Through the shower curtain, Heero could see Duo's lean form. He never showed any sign of noticing Heero's entrance. Heero stepped closer to the shower. As he did so, he could see that Duo's hair was down. So many times, he had dreamed of Duo with his hair down. Unbound, it reached nearly to his knees. Now that Duo's back was to him, he made his move.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo was attempting to rid his body's muscles of their tension. That, and washing his hair. It was one of his simple pleasure in life, the feel of the warm water cascading down his body. So peaceful . . . so warm . . . so . . . cold? Duo jumped. "Ah!" He slammed his fist into the single knob, turning it off. "Wh-what the. . ." He looked down. Not only was the curtain open, but also the knob had been pulled all the way to the right. Someone had done this on purpose! "Heero!" He was about to step out of the shower when he remembered his predicament. "Uh . . . Heero?"

"What, Duo?"

Duo shivered. "W-what do you mean, 'What?' I'm freezing! Give me my towel!"

"Get it yourself."

"What?! There is _no_ way I'm going out there like _this!_" _He's playing with me. Well, he's not going to win!_ "Well, I'm not coming out until I get my towel."

"You never should have been in there. I told you to _wait_."

"What do you think I've been doing? What did you do, go blow up an OZ base while you were at it? Heero, _please_ just give me my towel."

Silence. As the moments passed by, Duo grew colder. He rubbed his arms, but he became so cold that his teeth nearly started chattering. Suddenly, a black towel flew into the shower and onto Duo's head. He fumbled with it and dried himself as he spoke, "_Thanks_. I'll be out in a minute." When Duo was done, he wrapped the towel around himself. Much to his dismay, Heero was leaning against the door trim, arms crossed, when he stepped out of the shower.

"What was that all about?"

"Well, other than the fact that I haven't showered since before I left on my mission, after which I was captured, interrogated, beat up, and poisoned, my body was covered in bruises and dirt, my hair was a mess, and my whole body hurts like Hell . . . I can't think of a reason."

"Hn."

"Yeah, laugh all you want, Heero. But if you were in my shoes, then you'd feel the exact same way."

"Are you finished?"

"Yes, with _everything!_" Duo walked past Heero and towards the bed. "I think you should leave now. The others probably need you."

"They don't."

"Hm? And why not?"

"Trowa and Quatre left on a mission and Wufei's with the Gundams."

Duo gulped. "Then we're . . . all alone?"

"Yes." Heero walked toward Duo. "Sorry to dash your hopes of escape . . . now, you need to lie down. Quatre's orders. If he knew you were even out of bed for a second he'd . . ."

"Cut off my hair," Duo mumbled.

"What?"

"Quatre was here just after you left. He said that's what he'd do if he found out I was out of bed."

"Quatre said that?"

"Yeah."

"Well, who am I to argue with Quatre. Lie down."

"Huh?"

"You heard me. _Lie down_."

"How about if I just sit instead."

"If you don't, then I'll cut your hair off myself."

"My . . . hair?" Heero would do it too. He was never one to back down from a threat, especially if he made it. Except when it came to _Relena_. Duo tried to focus his thoughts. And who knows how Duo's hair would look after an onslaught by Heero Yuy. Duo cringed at the thought. "Okay," he sighed. He laid down again with his arms crossed behind his head. "Now what am I supposed to do?"

"Just lie there."

"What?"

"Trust me."

__

Trust him? Of course I trust him. But I don't trust the circumstances. And I don't think I can trust myself.

"Duo," Heero said concerned as he sat on the bed next to Duo.

"What?"

"Do you always bite on your lip?"

Duo stuck out his lower lip. It was bleeding _again_. Duo blew his low hanging bangs as he looked up. Heero leaned close to Duo. "Heero, what . . .?"

He held a finger to Duo's lips, coaxing him to silence. Literally. Slowly, his finger stroked Duo's lip. He leaned closer, gently pressing his lips to Duo's. He pulled away, suddenly, licking his lips. He stood, walked to the dresser between the two doors, walked back, and sat back down on the bed. Sensing Duo's question, he held up his bundle for him to see. He set it down and opened it. Using one member of the contents, Heero lay down next to Duo and put it to his lips.

Duo had closed his eyes tightly shut, attempting to block out any unwanted stimuli. But that's just it. It _was_ wanted.

Something cold and wet grazed his lip. Duo shivered violently. "What the . . ."

"It's only ice," Heero chuckled. 

__

Was that what it was? Duo thought.

"It will soothe away what is already there . . ." Heero moved close enough to Duo so that their breath mingled. ". . . and prevent against the damage that _could_ be done." Just then, a drop of water fell onto Duo's lips. Heero kissed it away gently. But eager lips were replaced with complacent ice. Heero moved the ice cube back and forth in a cool caress. With each new stroke, Duo's lips shone brighter. They became wetter, more supple, more enticing, and more desirable with each pass of his hand. Heero was fighting an urge from deep within him to partake in the exploring caress. But when Duo licked his lips, the situation became unbearable.

The ice gone, Heero's lips moved to Duo's. His kisses were gentle, caresses in themselves. Heero kissed all the hurt from Duo's face, banishing it away. He kissed his forehead, his nose, his eyes, his rounded cheeks, his chin, his bruises, and then sought his lips again.

Duo could barely believe what was happening. Who'd have known that Heero could be so gentle? "Heero . . ." Duo moaned as Heero's kisses rained down his neck slowly, moving to the base of his throat. Duo moved into the kiss, pushing against Heero's lean form. Duo's hands sought Heero's waist and the bottom of his tank-top. His hands moved exploringly over his back. He loved the feel of Heero's tank-top against his shower kissed skin, especially as it hung over him and just brushed his skin as Heero hovered above him. But he wanted to feel Heero's body against his with no barriers between them. His hands moved the dark cloth up. Together, they brought the cloth over his arms and head as Heero sat up to remove the shirt and throw it carelessly to the floor.

Duo gasped. He had never seen Heero's body before. Always, he had dreamed of what lie beneath the low hanging top that gave only a hint of what was beneath. But now he could see it for what it was. "Heero . . . you're . . . perfect," Duo said in a tone that shocked his own ears. So impressed, so shocked, so . . . ashamed?

Heero smiled seductively as he looked down at Duo's wide, bright eyes. "No. You're perfect." His gaze drifted down Duo's body and back up again. "Perfectly beautiful. When I brought you in here and removed your torn, battered clothes . . . I could barely contain myself."

Duo gulped. "Y-you . . ." 

"Baka, don't be so surprised. Oh, Duo, I wanted you so much. I've always wanted you."

Duo couldn't stop the question that erupted from his lips. "Then you've _never_ wanted anyone else? Not even Relena?"

"Relena?" Heero laughed. "I thought I had made it clear to you earlier. Whether or not she has feelings for me is irrelevant. I've never returned them. Since arriving on Earth, only one face has been so clearly etched in my mind."

"W-who was that?"

Now it was Heero's turn to be shocked. His eyes widened. "How can you be so smart on the battlefield and so dumb afterward?"

"Hey! I-"

"Shut up." Heero silenced him with a kiss. It was more insistent than the others but still as gentle. He reluctantly pulled away and sat up. He needed to finish. "You . . ." Heero said as he gazed back down at Duo. "Only you."

Duo smiled brightly. "Heero!" He attempted to sit up quickly, but his muscles ached. He tried to hide the discomfort, but little ever escaped the powerful gaze of those Prussian blue eyes. Duo closed his eyes and lowered his head, long wet hair falling over his shoulders.

"Oh, Duo," Heero sighed as he laid Duo's head against his shoulder. "There's no need to feel ashamed."

"I failed . . . I'm not as strong as you are, Heero. And I can't set my own broken legs," Duo said with half a smile against Heero's shoulder. 

Heero's body shook with laugher, their bodies rocking even closer. The feel of their chest together was indescribable. The touch was hot, and yet somehow cold. Duo's hands went behind Heero's back, hugging him closer. Unsure of what he was doing, Heero began to slowly caress Duo's back. It was slightly wet, due to the huge damp mass of hair covering it, but neither minded. It only made the touch more memorable. "You still hurt?"

"Well, only when I move."

"Duo . . ."

"Yeah, a little."

"If only I had found you sooner or never allowed you to be captured . . ." Heero said regretfully.

"There is nothing that you could have done."

"Right. But . . . maybe I can do something now."

"Like what?"

"Lie back down," Heero smiled into Duo's hair.

"But, Heero . . ."

"No buts, Duo. Tell me where you hurt."

"Well, my shoulders, arms, and generally my whole upper body, especially the parts I can't reach."

"Hanging from the ceiling?"

"Yeah, that did it," Duo said regretfully.

"Hm. Turn over."

"Uh, I'm not sure that we should . . ."

"Not _that_."

"Oh," Duo sighed as he laid on his stomach, and rested his head on his crossed arms.

"Disappointed?" Heero said with a smirk.

"Um, no, just . . ."

"Relieved?"

That _was_ what he felt. He wanted to . . . but not now.

Duo's thoughts ceased when Heero's hands touched his shoulders. His touch was firm but gentle, moving in massaging circles over Duo's tense muscles. "How does that feel?" Heero asked.

"Mm, feels great," Duo sighed with his eyes closed. He felt so relaxed he could almost sleep. . . "Ow! _Heero_!"

"Your muscles are tense and riddled with knots. I need to work them out. It will feel better in a moment."

Duo sulked. _That hurt!_

To take Duo's mind off of the slight pain, Heero spoke. "You weren't falling asleep were you?"

"If I say 'Yes,' will you stop?"

"I'm getting there. Can't you tell?"

"Huh?" Heero's hands were moving slower once more, lightly caressing Duo's shoulders, arms, back, and sides. His hands moved to Duo's lower back and waist. He listened for any complaint or just one, simple two letter word. But neither came. 

Heero replaced his hands on Duo's lower back. He started with small outward going circles. Nothing. The circles grew larger. Still nothing. Heero's hands moved over Duo's sides and then retreated back to the center. With each circle his hands went further, until his fingers grazed Duo's stomach and eventually the edge of his black towel. Heero froze. What was he _doing_?

Duo stirred. "Why'd you stop?"

"Still hurt?"

"No," Duo sighed. "It doesn't hurt there . . . anymore."

"Anywhere else?"

"My stomach." Duo said as he rolled over. "Not only do I have a bruise or two there, but I'm sure it's empty. It's been a while since my last meal." In response to Duo's observation, his stomach growled long and loud. A tinge of color graced his contented cheeks. "Uh, Heero, I hate to ruin the mood, but . . ."

"I know. I'll check for missions."

To be continued.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Yeah, I know. That chapter was SO slow. In case you can't tell, it's more dialog intensive. Aren't you just _feeling_ the frustration? I want it to be over too. What's with all the _interruptions_? *evil laugh* Stick around if you dare. C&C to:duonotsuin@yahoo.com


	4. Shikanenai: Part 4

****

Title: Shikanenai – Part 4

****

Series: Gundam Wing

****

Standard Disclaimers: 

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own _Justice Boy_'s official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "_Futou!!_" _No_, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops*But I _did_, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

****

Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

****

Rating: for reasons below . . . PG–13 

****

Warnings: 

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama – Duo-chained-up – ( not like _that_ you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

Shikanenai

– capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

PART FOUR

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Heero had slipped out while Duo was dressing, though tearing himself away from the sight was difficult. Duo had gotten up, went to his dresser, pulled out a pair of boxers, and began dropping his towel with his back to Heero, when Heero turned his head and left. _He's so unashamed of his body. And it's no wonder why._ Heero shook off the thought as he sat down at his computer. _Can't think about that now. Think only of missions._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo found that he had little appetite for food. As he continued to stare blankly at the contents of the fridge, his mind drifted once again to the dark haired pilot.

__

If I didn't know Heero, then I'd say that he was disappointed. Baka, you just had to bring up food and then he brought up missions. Damn, Heero, I'm sorry. You just had to spoil the mood, Duo. Now, who knows what will happen. You might never have an opportunity like that again. You had it and you blew it. You never even told him. Now what are you going to do? Whatever it is, think of it fast before it's too late, if it's not already.

The moments he had spent with Heero earlier were some of the best of his life. And he had just thrown it away because . . . because of what? It was true. He had felt an ache deep within his stomach . . . but it wasn't for food. He had wanted the events to be different. He hadn't wanted it to end. He wanted more. He wanted to go back and do it over again. _Man, I really screwed up this one. But I'm not giving up now. I know what I need to do._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

As Heero continued decoding the mission profile, he tried to ignore Duo's half-clad form entering the room. Duo stopped next to Heero's side. 

"Any new missions?" 

Heero did not answer.

"Heero, I'm sorry."

"Your _appetite_ appeased now?" Heero said with a taste of bitterness in his voice.

Duo sighed. "No. It's as strong as it ever was. Maybe even stronger . . . than the day I met you."

Heero's fingers paused on the keyboard. "Is that so?"

"You know it is."

"You shot me."

Duo winced. "Oh, well, yeah, I did. Okay, so sue me. It was later when you had been taken to that Alliance Military hospital. I felt guilty for having put you there. So, I broke you out."

"I remember."

"Yeah? Well, I remember all the blood. I remember thinking that you might die, and I couldn't accept that. Also, I remembered you jumping . . ." Duo gulped regretfully. "And I knew that there was nothing I could do. Then _she_ came. And when she called your name and you responded by pulling your parachute cord . . . I remember wishing that it had been me . . . instead of _her_. I wanted that power. And, later, I realized I wanted _you_. 

"That day you were working on Wing and wouldn't accept any of my help, I kept telling myself that you . . . weren't worth my time. There was so much that I disliked of you even then. And now, those are all the qualities that draw me to you. You and I are so different. But when we are together, there's some kind of force between us that seems to pull us closer together. Maybe it's hunger, but it's there. Don't you ever feel it?" When Heero did not answer, Duo continued, "Well, I do." Determination with him, Duo stepped between the silent Heero and the humming computer. "And I'm not going to let it go unnoticed." 

Duo covered Heero's mouth with his gently, unsure of himself and his actions. Slowly, he quickened his pace. His hands moved to Heero's face and held it. "I need you, Heero," he breathed against Heero's lips. Again, he moved to Heero's mouth. "Please say you need me too." Duo waited. Heero's face was composed and unreadable. Duo looked down. "Well, I guess I must have made a mistake."

"Duo . . ." Heero breathed as he pulled Duo to him once more. "I need you, too." He covered Duo's lips insistently, taking all Duo would give and vice versa. Unnoticed to either pilot, Duo somehow ended up straddling Heero's lap. As their arms wrapped around each other, the kisses grew deeper. Neither knew what was happening. But neither wanted it to stop.

__

* BUZZ-UUP! *

"What the . . ." Heero frustratedly looked around Duo. "Incoming transmission form Trowa," he said.

Slowly, Duo stood and went around the desk to face Heero.

Trowa's face blinked onto the screen.

"What is it, Trowa?" Heero spit out.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Huh? Heero impatient and openly showing it? What had he interrupted. "The situation here is worse than we thought. We will need the Gundams."

After a moment of silent deliberation, Heero spoke. "Understood."

"I'm sending the details now. We'll expect your arrival at the appropriated time."

"Wufei and I will be there."

__

And not Duo. Trowa nodded. "Over and out."

The screen darkened once more.

"Are they coming, Trowa?" Quatre asked.

"Wufei and Heero are . . ."

"But not Duo." Quatre sighed.

"I'm sure he would like to come, but Heero won't let him if he thinks he'd endanger the mission . . ."

"Or himself."

"Don't worry, Quatre. I am sure Heero has his reasons."

"I know, Trowa, it's just . . ."

"Just what, Quatre?" Trowa said as he crossed the room to Quatre's side.

"I have a bad feeling . . . that's all."

"About the mission?"

"I don't know. Something's just not right."

"Let's not think about it now. We still have time before Heero and Wufei arrive. All we need is them and the Gundams, and the mission is as good as done. But until then . . ." Trowa's lips began curving into a smile.

"What did you have in mind?" Quatre smiled. He knew the answer, but he wanted to hear it.

"What do you think? I love you, my little Quatre. I will never love anyone more," Trowa whispered as he moved closer to Quatre. 

Quatre's smile brightened. "I love you too, Trowa." He wanted to say more, but, like a magnet, he was drawn to Trowa's waiting arms and expectant lips for a tender and loving embrace before the fire.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

All during the communication from Trowa, Duo had stared silently with his big, bright blue eyes on Heero. Heero could hardly control himself from shutting off the machine, crossing the distance between them, and taking Duo in his arms. But somehow, he knew that Duo would no longer accept those arms around him. At least, for the moment. And he was right.

Duo stood with his arms crossed, glaring impassively at Heero. "How could you, Heero? You know I'm well enough to go, so why didn't you say so?"

"As far as they know, you're not."

"Well, I heal quickly. Not as quick as you, but quicker than most." 

"You're not going."

"Why not? Afraid I'll screw up _again_ and botch the mission?"

"Duo . . ."

"Yeah, I'll bet that's what it is. Better not take Duo along. Why? Because he's a weak link in the mission and Heero Yuy's missions _never_ fail." Heero couldn't speak and he didn't. Duo started to leave. "Oh, and don't worry. I won't follow you when you leave," Duo said with bitterness rampant in his voice as he stalked out of the room.

Heero wanted to follow, but he knew there was little he could say. _Duo's better off being alone now . . . and so am I. We can't be close . . . closer than we've already become. It's for the best. Caring for others only makes you weak. It's a weakness that I can't afford to have. The mission is all there is. I must not fail. Not for anything . . . or anyone._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo entered his room and closed the door. Alone again. "Dammit, Heero. Why couldn't you just let me go with you?" _Trowa said he needed all the Gundams. I thought I was one of them. I thought Heero believed that. I guess I was wrong. I'm not one of them. Without me, they would be better off. Death follows me, endangering all those around me. . .especially those which I care about. Care about . . . yes, I do care for them. All of them . . . but especially Heero._ "Just don't get killed out there, Heero. If you did, then I'd be responsible . . . whether I was there or not. Please, God . . . let them come back alive. _All_ of them."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

After Duo had eaten, braided his hair, and dressed, he found himself facing Heero's computer. It occurred to him that he had never asked Heero what he had been doing when he walked in. The computer was still on. That was unlike Heero. Duo sat down in Heero's chair. "Heero . . . what _were_ you looking at?"

He wasn't as fluent with computers as Heero was, but he had learned a few things from watching Heero. A few keystrokes later, he found what he was looking for. "Trowa and Quatre's mission profile . . ." He read it and nothing seemed out of the ordinary. He found the information Trowa had sent Heero. Both had referred to Heero's earlier mission. Skimming the brief, carefully not reading past the point where Heero's mission _actually_ ended, it all started to come together. He compared the documents, switching back and forth repeatedly. "Was that right? No, it _couldn't_ be. But it's right here. Did Heero miss it? How could he . . . oh, no! It's all my fault!"

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"So, Heero, why didn't Duo come?" Wufei asked in the cockpit of the cargo plane.

"He wasn't ready to. In his state, he would endanger the mission," Heero said as he walked out of the cockpit.

"Hm." _I thought he was doing better. What state exactly could prevent Duo from piloting his Deathscythe? Whatever reason, it sure agitated Heero. Did something about the mission influence Heero's decision?_ "Nataku, guide me in the best way to win this battle. We will need all that we can have aiding us. This I am sure of."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Damn! What the hell happened to you, Deathscythe? Last time I saw you, you were almost reduced to the status of junk. Whatever they did . . . it was short of a miracle. Remind me to thank them later." Duo climbed into the cockpit. He did a quick system check. "Fuel . . . full. Weapons . . . repaired and replenished. Suit integrity . . . optimal. Configuration . . . good enough!" Duo loaded Deathscythe onto a truck. He climbed in and slammed the door. "Now all I need is a little long range transportation."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"It's a Gundam! Don't let it get to the hangar!"

"I have no fight with you, but if you get in my way . . . you will learn the true nature of Shinigami!"

The leo's fired upon the lone intruder.

"I have no time for this!" Deathscythe erupted toward them, and in one graceful swing of his scythe all were exploding scrap metal. "I'm coming for you, Heero! Just hold on!"

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"I don't understand? What happened? It wasn't supposed to be like this!" Quatre said in a panic stricken voice. "How could we have overlooked it? How could we . . . how could _I_ have made such a mistake?" He froze in Sandrock's cockpit and would not fight back.

"Quatre? Quatre, snap out of it!"

Amidst all the turmoil, he thought he heard Trowa's voice. "Trowa . . ."

"Quatre!" As a mobile doll raised it's gun on Sandrock, multiple shot's fired from the sidelines, shook the suit, and caused it to explode.

"Trowa!" Quatre looked at the worried face on his view-screen. 

"Quatre, it is not your fault. If it is anyone's fault, then it is mine. I never should have let you come . . . but since you're here now, then you may as well be of some use."

Quatre smiled weakly. "Yeah. Yeah! Let's get them, Trowa!"

The battle continued. But it seemed that for every mobile doll lost, ten more appeared straight off the assembly line.

"There are too many of them! We'll never get out of here!" Quatre cried.

"You are doing fine. Just do not stop," Trowa encouraged

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Elsewhere on the battlefield, the Shenlong Gundam speared the hull of a mobile doll. "The numbers are amazing. They've been planning this one for awhile," Wufei observed.

"We'll get them," Heero said. 

"There's no end to them. How can you win a war for humans when an endless supply of mobile dolls lies at the command of your enemy? Where is the _justice_? _Cowards!_ Why don't you come out and _fight_! Quit hiding behind these _empty_ machines!" Wufei and Nataku plowed through the doll, impaling and destroying it.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

The battle raged on, but the numbers never appeared to shrink. "Doll reinforcements present the illusion of real soldiers risking their own lives for their cause. But they are nothing but empty, soulless machines. And humans, unlike machines, can adapt to the way the battle needs to be won," Wufei said needlessly.

"Must you _always_ continue on like this," Heero's grim voice chimed in.

"Just because Duo is not here is no reason that you have to listen to me."

"Keep your mind on the mission."

__

He says this after comparing me to Duo. That boy is worse off than I thought.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

I've got to get to the control tower. It's the only way to stop them, Heero thought. 

Wing raised his gun and fired, clearing his path of three mobile dolls . . . momentarily. He dropped his spent gun. As Wing flew in a leap toward the control tower, five more dolls surrounded him. Wing attempted to draw his beam saber, but the dolls moved close around Wing, suffocating him.

Heero strained against the crushing force. "Let me go!" Try as he might, he could not move.

The dolls would not yield to words.

Wing's body began to buckle under the combined force of the dolls. "No! I can't die like this!" He tried harder and harder, but he was becoming exhausted. His grip slackened. _Duo . . . I never_ _"Duo!" _The lone Wing pilot screamed.

White-- or rather, green-- hot energy sliced through the air . . . as well as the tower.

__

An explosion! The control tower?

"Did somebody call for backup!"

"Duo . . ." _No, it can't be! I left him back home . . . with his Gundam._

A familiar, blue eyed, cheerful face greeted his vision on screen. "You bet, buddy. You didn't think I'd let you have _all_ the fun, did you?" Twisting his energy scythe behind him, Deathscythe brought one final, crushing blow down onto the tower.

Explosions rocked the battlefield, gathering the remaining Gundam pilots' attention.

"It's Duo!" Quatre cried.

"Imagine that," Trowa marveled.

"Well, I'll be the son of a . . . Gundam," Wufei joked with a smile.

__

Joked!? All the pilots gasped in unified amazement.

"_Hey!_ That's _my _line!" A dumbfounded Duo countered.

"No time for that, now. Let's finish them!" Heero ordered. The remaining mobile dolls were sluggish, if moving at all. "Our objective is to destroy them all."

The clack of Heavyarms' empty gun barrels signaled the need for a new plan and greater firepower. "Enemy mobile suits are entering the battlefield," Trowa warned.

"I will handle them," Wufei said.

"I'm with you, Wufei," Quatre offered.

"Me too," said Duo cheerfully.

"Heero, Trowa, find something to blow this base up with. We're running out of options and weapons," Quatre advised.

"Understood," Heero answered as he turned Wing away.

"Right behind you, Heero."

"Heero, the building over there is the munitions storage site. Start there," Duo suggested.

Heero looked at the cheerful face on the screen. "Thanks, Duo."

"Hey, anytime. Now, there are a few hunks of metal that need my _dividing_ attention," he said with a smirk.

__

That's Duo. He jokes when faced by . . . Death. Heero gulped, an act not like his perfect soldier persona. _Please be okay, Duo. There's so much that I . . . that we have yet to do._

To be continued.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Grrr, didn't you just hate Heero? I know how Duo felt. It's such a &$#@!! And what was up with that "action" scene. It was _all_ dialogue. What's gonna happen? What exactly did Duo find that wasn't right? Well . . . send all C&C to:duonotsuin@yahoo.com


	5. Shikanenai: Part 5

****

Title: Shikanenai – Part 5

****

Series: Gundam Wing

****

Standard Disclaimers: 

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own _Justice Boy_'s official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "_Futou!!_" _No_, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops*But I _did_, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

****

Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

****

Rating: for reasons below . . . PG–13 

****

Warnings: 

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama – Duo-chained-up – ( not like _that_ you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

Shikanenai

– capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

PART FIVE

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

The munitions site was where Duo had said it was. _He must have reviewed all the profiles, briefs, and transmitted materials regarding this mission._ Heero smiled to himself. _The more I figure Duo out, the more he keeps surprising me._

Finding enough explosives to blow up the moon, a terrible thought for a Gundam pilot, the two Gundam pilots began the process of setting some up. After all, they knew the place better than the others, except for Duo of course.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"What is taking them so long?" Duo thought outloud.

"It's a large base. There's a lot to do," Quatre chimed in drearily. They were all tired. The battle seemed to go on longer and longer. "Don't worry, Duo. They _are_ coming."

Duo knew that Quatre had said it more for himself than the Shinigami pilot. "Yeah, I hope you're right." _Come on, Heero. What's taking you guys so long? Please, please come back. Both of you._

Then as if hearing the radio silent voice, Duo's screen came to life. "Duo," Trowa was strapping into his cockpit. "We have got five minutes to finish and get out."

"Where's Heero?"

"He is coming. He told me to go ahead. Come on, we need to secure our Gundams' evacuation."

"What about Quatre and Wufei?"

"It's covered. Quatre, Wufei?"

"Yes, Trowa?"

"You and Wufei go with Duo and meet me at the airfield. We are getting out of here."

"What about Heero?"

"He is finishing up, Quatre. Now we _need_ to get out of here."

The three Gundams left for the airstrip. There, Trowa was waiting. "I have secured a carrier for us. Now, load them up."

"But what about Heero?" Duo kept looking behind him. Still, no sign of him. "He won't have enough fuel to make it back, alone!"

"He will be fine. Get Deathscythe in _now_."

When Deathscythe was loaded onto a carrier, Duo radioed Trowa, "How much time do we have?" 

"Two minutes."

"Where _is_ he?"

"He is coming. He promised he would. Stay in your cockpit. We need to be ready."

"Alright." Though the situation was one of suspense and quick actions, time slowed down for Duo. Two minutes became two hours. There was nothing he could do but wait. And the wait was killing him.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Two minutes later, buildings exploded all over the OZ facility. A domino chain of flames systematically touched the sky.

Trowa spoke, "Prepare for takeoff," he told Quatre and Wufei. 

"But Duo . . . and Heero . . ." Quatre asked worriedly. 

"Duo is with Deathscythe."

"And Heero?"

"He is coming. He promised that he wouldn't let Duo down."

"I hope so."

"The explosions are getting closer. We should leave," Wufei measured.

"Have faith, Wufei. Duo does."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Dammit. Where _are_ you?" Duo searched the area with Deathscythe's sensors. Only darkness and the opposing brightness of the explosions were seen.

"Duo, we have to leave _now_. This hangar will blow in less than a minute."

"I'm not leaving without Heero."

"But Duo . . ."

"Leave me here, if you have to. But I'm _not_ letting him die here!"

"Duo, you _still_ talk too much . . ." an intense, familiar voice resounded through Deathscythe's speakers.

"Heero?! What took you so long?!"

Wing walked into the carrier. "Get us out of here, Trowa."

The plane's engine hum grew to a whir as the engines prepared for takeoff. Slowly, the plane left the hangar, just short of the collapsing roof. As the plane's speed increased, the explosions behind grew closer and more frequent.

Wufei pounded the control panel. "Can't this machine move _any_ faster?!"

"I'm _working_ on it! _Hold on_, everyone!"

As the plane fought the pull of gravity to begin it's ascent, the last of the OZ instillation burst into flames. The flames danced in the wind . . . almost as if waving goodbye.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

When the plane had leveled out, Duo quickly leapt from Deathscythe to the cabin floor beneath. He regarded Wing with a quiet intensity. _Why hasn't Heero come out yet?_ "Heero, come out!" No answer. _Oh, God. What if . . ._ _"Heero!"_

Duo ran to Wing. Fortunately Wing was kneeling and not standing at it's full height, so Duo climbed up to the cockpit with some ease. He found the switch and opened the cockpit using the full force of his fist. He climbed inside. 

"Heero!" Heero was sitting slumped forward limply. "He-Heero?" Duo could do nothing to hide the tremor in his voice. Tears swelling in his eyes, he gently lifted Heero's head. "Heero? _Speak_ to me."

His eyelids tremored and opened warily. "Duo . . ."he breathed.

"Heero, are you hurt?"

"Nothing I can't handle," his lip nearly quirked into a half smile.

"Dammit. Don't start joking with me _now_," his eyes, hot and wet, stung.

"Are you _crying_, Duo?"

"No. Who do you think you're talking to?"

"Duo . . ." Weakly, Heero reached up one hand to Duo's face. He wiped the tears away. 

"Oh, is that what that was?"

"Why are you crying, Duo?"

"I-I came in and saw you . . . you were so still . . . so quiet . . . I thought that you . . ."

"What, are you kidding me? You know who you're talking to."

"_Don't_ do that to me, Heero Yuy!"

"Do what?"

"Act like you're the Perfect Soldier. Don't you wonder how I _knew_ to be here? After you left, I read your brief, the two mission profiles, and the communicays. I looked at any and _every_ piece of information you had. It was there, Heero. How could you miss it?"

"I-I don't know. I . . . " _Was so worried about you . . ._ ". . . overlooked it." _It's a bad excuse, I know, but . . ._ "It's the truth."

"It was all my fault. If I hadn't . . . then you would have . . ."

"Stop it, Duo. It wasn't _your_ fault. Understand? I should have been more focused on the missions."

"If you were any _more_ focused on the mission, Heero, then you'd be no better than one of those _soulless_ mobile dolls." A look crossed Heero's face at that moment, one of realization and . . ._ Regret? Heero?_

Heero's heart sank, _If I had a heart at all,_ he thought glumly. For the second time in his life, he realized just how much he had sacrificed. _My . . . humanity?_ "Duo . . ." _I'm so sorry. _"When I was learning to pilot Wing, I was careless and a civilian was killed because of my blind dedication to the mission." _Now, I try to protect those that I care for and the mission suffers._ "Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it."

"If what's worth it?"

"Our trade of our humanity for our missions."

__

This is Heero I'm talking to, isn't it? "Are you kidding me? Of course it's worth it. When the war is over, the colonies are free, and peace reigns, it _will_ be worth it. You'll see."

"How do you do it, Duo?"

"Do what?"

"Dismiss the bad and embrace the good."

"I have to, Heero, just as you have to save the colonies. What good would humanity be without a world to live in?"

"You save the humanity; I will save the place for humanity to thrive."

"Yeah, that's one way of putting it."

Heero was smiling. Actually smiling.

"You know, Heero, you don't have to lose your humanity. You _can_ keep it with you."

"But I don't know how." Heero regarded Duo thoughtfully. "Duo?"

"Yeah, Heero?"

"Teach me how to keep it?"

Duo smiled. "Of course. All you ever had to do was ask."

Heero, that was the name of the pilot before him. He had opened up to him and after so long. _I'm the one he talks to. It wasn't really ever Relena. He comes to my rescue and I let him, but this time I was the one doing the saving. Oh, God, how could I . . ._ "Are you _sure_ you're not hurt, Heero? God, how could I not ask again? You were slumped over in your chair looking . . ."

"Dead," Heero added flatly.

"Yeah," Duo looked down, ashamed. _What if he had been dying, and I just overlooked it? I'm so ashamed._

"Say it, Duo. Whatever it is, just say it."

"I'm sorry. _Please_ tell me you're alright."

"I'm fine."

"Now, don't you lie to me. If you even have _one_ bruise on you, then I'll . . ."

"You'll what? And how would you plan on finding out, exactly?" He lifted an eyebrow.

"Huh? Oh, well, I guess . . . _okay_. So, I _won't_ know, but that's no excuse. Just because you're the _Perfect_ Soldier and you've got a _perfect_ body, is no reason for you to . . ."

"Duo?"

"Nani?"

"Do you know how irresistible you are?"

Again, "Nani?"

"You don't need to compare me to you. There's no contest."

"Yeah, I know." Duo sighed. _How could I be so foolish._ "You're . . . perfect."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Heero could say nothing. He could not understand how Duo could _possibly_ compare them. "No, Duo . . . you misunderstood."

"Misunderstood _what_ exactly?"

The situation was becoming more complicated. _I thought Duo was so self-confident. I guess even Gundam pilots have their insecurities._ Heero leaned closer to Duo and lifted his face to meet his gaze. "Can't you see how _beautiful_ you are?"

The question surprised Duo. Had he heard _correctly_?

Heero brushed Duo's bangs out of his eyes. "I can't stand seeing sadness in your eyes. Those big, deep, bright blue eyes. Do you have_ any_ idea how easily I can lose myself in their depths. You're hair . . ." Heero fumbled for Duo's braid. "I've always wanted you to wear it down. Just once." Heero sighed as he closed his eyes. His breath lingered on Duo's lips. "I wanted you from the _first_ moment I saw you. You were so . . . bright and full of life. Your sheer vitality hovers around you, encompassing all those around you. But especially me. When I'm with you . . . I feel like I do with no one else. Life . . . it seems liveable . . . and _enjoyable_," his voice lowered. "You are not Death to me. You are life. . .and hope. How can someone so bright believe himself so dark? You are anything but Death. With you, the ideas of hope, peace, and. . . _love_," Heero's voice became husky as the new word rolled off his tongue and past his lips, "They all seem accessible for the first time in my life. And it's all because of _you_. Tell me now, if you can, how _can_ I compare to you, my beautiful, _dark_ angel."

It was many times greater in length than all that Heero had ever said to the long haired pilot. Or to anyone, for that matter. Duo hung on every word. He could scarcely believe his own ears. For once . . ._ he_ was speechless. But all doubt left his mind as the Wing pilot's lips went down on his.

This kiss was different. It was not rushed or hungry . . . or at least in the matters of the flesh. Heero's heart was crying out to Duo. And Duo's lips sent back an answering plea. "I want you, Duo," he breathed through the small space between their softened lips.

"Oh, Heero . . ." A small tear fell from Duo's eye. Heero kissed it away with his lingering lips. Rubbing his head against Duo's, his lips brushed Duo's cheek before hovering agonizingly close to Duo's ear.

"I want _you_, Duo." He kissed Duo's ear. "And not just as a friend. I want you in the most intimate way." Duo's sigh blew across the skin of his neck. He shivered.

"But Heero . . ." Breaking the knowing silence, he whispered, "What about. . ."

"The others? They won't be back here. They know . . . somehow. I just want to be here with you . . . and express what I feel . . . " he drifted off in a breathless whisper.

"Not here." Duo pulled away slightly. "I want you, too. I want you _now_. But it doesn't feel right . . . here. It would be too rushed, too . . ."

"Dangerous?" An evil grin covered his usually passive face.

"Yeah."

Heero sighed, "Alright," as he leaned back into his chair. "As you wish."

"Heero, don't be mad. I'm just a little . . ."

"A little . . .?"

"Well . . ."

"Inexperienced?"

"Yes. I've never . . . _ever _. . ."

"Say no more, Duo."

"Please don't hate me–"

Quickly, Heero leaned forward. "Hate you! How could I _hate_ you! Did you think that because I . . ." He smiled as he shook his head. "Come here, Duo." He reached down and with his strong arms, brought Duo to sit in his lap, encircling him in his unwavering embrace.

"Heero! We can't . . ." Duo's hand was poised on Heero's chest, preventing further closeness. The tips of his fingers brushed against what little skin was exposed to Duo's wandering gaze.

"Can't what? We don't have to rush things. It's better to start with something less . . . less physically taxing."

"Well, maybe _you_ couldn't handle it, but I . . ."

"Still have bruised ribs and many other countless muscles all over your body. Quatre would kill me."

"Heero, are you _really_ alright?"

"I am now."

"Aren't you even _tired_?"

"Honestly?"

"_No_, _dis_honestly," sarcasm lining his voice.

"When I piloted Wing onto the plane and landed, all of me just went limp. I was so worried about you. But you . . . _you_ saved us. You saved _me_. And at that moment I wanted nothing more than to simply hold you . . . just like this. Thank you, Duo, for everything, for all that you've said and done, and, mostly, for just being you."

"I'd do anything for you, Heero. I'd cross Hell in death, just to be with you again. I'll never leave you, no matter what."

"I don't know what I'd do without you. I can't imagine my _life_ without you."

__

Am I imagining this? This seems so unreal. But it is real. As real as the arms around me, the eyes boring into mine, the husky voice whispering into my ear, the lips that fit mine perfectly, the lean body beneath my own, the hands gripping my braid, the breath mingling with my own, and the soul that is at peace with my own. Duo laid his head against the firm shoulder and sighed contentedly. Arms winding around Heero, Duo asked sleepily, "How much longer until we're home?"

Not wanting the moment to end, Heero kissed Duo lightly and whispered, "Not long enough, Duo. Not long enough."

Owari? Heh, you wish. That's not all, folks.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

*sniff* Awwwwwww . . . I can't help it if I'm a softie, _okay_? So what if I'm in Fluffy Land? Don't worry, it's not gonna last. If you have any beefs or C&C send them to:duonotsuin@yahoo.com


	6. Shikanenai: Part 6

****

Title: Shikanenai – Part 6

****

Series: Gundam Wing

****

Standard Disclaimers: 

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own _Justice Boy_'s official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "_Futou!!_" _No_, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops*But I _did_, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

****

Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

****

Rating: for reasons below . . . PG–13 

****

Warnings: 

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama – Duo-chained-up – ( not like _that_ you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

Shikanenai

– capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

PART SIX

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"I wonder how Heero's doing. Do you think he's hurt?"

"Quatre, he will be fine. Duo is back there and he will tell us if something is wrong with Heero."

Quatre sighed, "Yeah, I know. It's just . . . we have neither heard nor seen them since the battle ended. And I can't help but be curious."

"Hm. Do we have a curious cat in our midst?" Wufei had been silent for a long time. _For too long._ "They've been through a lot, so just let them be. They'd do the same for you, would they not?"

"Yes, they would."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"We're _finally_ home!" The cheerful pilot regarded the livingroom with hope. _We will all still be here together to enjoy what little bits of life we can._ Enjoy. There was a word that stirred untold amounts of emotion within him. He could still enjoy life, and so could his fellow pilots. "The little things are what truly matter. And that is what we are fighting for. The chance for people to enjoy the simple things in life, without always having to watch their backs of those who would wish to take their freedom away. _That_ is humanity. But if we were ever to lose it, then we would likewise lose our purpose. The war would be pointless, then. We can't let that happen for the colonies . . . or the Earth."

"You talk so much you find it necessary to talk even when no one else is listening?" The voice behind him brushed against his neck and the surrounding hair still in its braid.

Duo smiled. "_You_ heard me, didn't you?"

"Yes," Heero said as his lips came to rest on Duo's neck, just above his collar, and his arms went around Duo's waist.

Duo rocked into him. "Heero . . ."

"Did you mean what you said?"

"Every word. Now do you understand?" The tension coursed through Heero's body on a river of regret and flowed directly into Duo. He knew what was coming before it was said.

"Yes, but . . . "

"But what?"

His arms released Duo. "I can't . . . " And stepped away.

"Can't what?" He turned to face Heero.

". . ." Heero looked down.

"Dammit, Heero, talk to me!"

"I swore I'd never let anyone get this close to me. It was just too risky. My feelings could get in the way. But then I met you . . ." Heero trailed off, unsure of what to say.

"And now?"

"Now I know that there is something more beyond what I have been taught. War is my life . . . and will likely be my death one day. But you, Duo, are my light, my dedication, my salvation. Life is _precious._ And it's all because of you."

"Heero . . ."

"Duo, I want . . ." _But could Duo want the same thing? He couldn't. It means so much . . . and I'd mean all of it. Wouldn't I?_

"Yeah, me too."

"You should get some rest. You've had a long day." _Does he mean it?_

"I will only if you do. You _need_ it too."

Heero's eyebrow quirked. "Promise?"

"Yeah, I promise, Heero."

The doorknob turned. All discussion halted and the two pilots instantaneously put distance between them.

Quatre entered followed by Trowa and Wufei. "What are you two still doing up? We said we'd take care of the Gundams. And now that that's done, we should _all_ get some sleep. We deserve it. How does that sound?"

"Well, Quatre," yawned Duo as he stretched, "That sounds like a _great_ idea. If any of you need me, 

you know how to find me." This was his chance for a simple exit.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo walked to his room alone. _What a day!_ The click of the closing door resounded in the empty room. _Empty. It sure wasn't like that this morning._ Duo grinned. _What would I give for another night like that?_

After preparing to retire to his bed, Duo climbed reluctantly under the cold, empty sheets.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo had left the room quickly, barely leaving enough time for Heero even to see his exit. He knew it would be some time before he would also be able to leave. He would wait until the others were asleep. _I won't be hasty . . . for Duo._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo turned again. No position was adequate. _I'm so tired, but why can't I sleep? Is it because I haven't told him? Heero . . ._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Duo . . . Heero stopped outside the door. He reached for the handle and froze. _Why is this so hard for me, now? Earlier, we agreed on it. And there is no way that I will be able to sleep alone tonight, despite my present condition But that's just it. I'm in no condition to be alone. But is Duo? Is he waiting for me? Is he even awake?_ Heero took in a deep breath and let it out. _There's only one way to find out. _His hand clutched the doorknob. _Why do I keep doing this to myself? "Because of a certain blue-eyed, braided bishounen,"_ a voice answered in his head. Courage restored, he opened the door.

A sleeping Duo had lost the sheets, tossed away to reveal his lone body. He lay on his stomach, clad only in black boxers. _Beautiful . . . _The temptation was too great. Heero walked toward the bed. Settling himself, he removed his boots and socks with his back to Duo. The bed moved under a shifting weight. Cool arms wrapped themselves around Heero's shirted chest.

"So you decided to come after all, eh Heero?"

"I waited until the others were asleep. I wanted to make sure we'd be alone."

"And now that we _are_ alone, what are we going to do for the rest of the night?" It was a welcoming question and they both knew it. Duo's exploring hands moved over Heero's tanktop.

"Did you change your mind?"

"I'm not sure, yet. You're going to have to convince me . . . with words."

"With . . . words," Heero repeated.

"A change, I know. Sure, you could just do as you have done, by initiating the action yourself, but do you remember earlier . . . in front of your computer?"

"Yeah."

"Different?" His head fit in the crook of Heero's shoulder perfectly.

"Unplanned."

"Exactly. Do you think I planned this?" Duo shifted himself to lie on his side, looking up at Heero.

"It's a possibility."

"Sorry to have to disappoint you, but I'm making this up as I go. Talk to me Heero."

"Now?"

"Well, yeah."

"Why?"

"Just because."

"About what?"

"Anything."

__

Anything . . . He wished it could be that simple. But when around others, especially Duo, his brain refused to operate. And on the rare occasion it did, his lips, his tongue, or both would refuse to form the words. Either way, the words would rarely come. And now was no exception. "Anything."

"As long as it's in words."

"I've never been good with words. I cannot tell you . . . I can only show you."

"So show me, then."

"Are you sure?"

"_Convince_ me." He was playing a dangerous game, and he knew it. But he didn't care. All that mattered was that night and the soul that stared down at him from within deep, prussian blue eyes.

Unsure of what he was doing, Heero shifted his weight and placed his lips on Duo's. "Duo . . ."

"Yes, Heero?" 

He backed away slightly, leaving a caressing hand on Duo's cheek. "You're the most enticing, beautiful being I've ever met. And I can't think of my life without you in it . . . this night especially. I want to tell you . . . but not in words. I want to tell you _another_ way . . . one that I can handle. Please, tell me that you will let me?"

"Heero, I . . . I don't know . . . how. I've never . . ."

Heero's eyes widened. "My sweet Duo, you're no where near as lively as you make yourself out to be."

"Hey, just because I'm louder and more . . . well, _outgoing_ than the others, is no reason that I . . ."

"Gomen, Duo. You're just so much more open than any of us. And there is no one who I'd trust in a fight, by my side, on a battlefield."

"You mean it? _Honestly?_"

"Yeah."

"Oh, Heero!" He came to Heero quickly, wrapping arms around him tightly. "That's got to be one of the best complements that anyone has ever given me!"

"It's the truth, Duo. I meant every word."

"_Every_ word?"

"Does this answer your question?" He picked Duo up and laid him gently down again with his head on a pillow. Their lips met hesitantly but once joined, this kiss took on a life all it's own. 

It amplified all emotion and brought it to life with its full force. Pure, raw emotion. They could feel the passion coursing through them and it grew. It grew until they were fully encompassed in it's warm, fevered embrace. Neither truly knew what was happening, but neither wanted it to stop. They knew they had wanted it . . . and each other. But never did the force behind it, their same reason, leave their hearts.

It was not as quick as it would seem. The heat of the moment disillusioned the very shape of and face of time itself. Compared to the life of the Earth, a human life lasts a mere fraction of a second. But compared to the lives of these two souls, this moment was a long desired eternity, blissful and slow. Like a roller coaster it grew and fell, but with much less urgency. All either knew, was that everything had led up to this moment, this heated, precious moment. It was the height of all feeling and both knew it deep within as it ended. The blaze had reached its full power and quickly fell to a low glow of two lone embers.

Locked in each other's arms, bodies still entwined together, they smiling pilots refused to move, lest they never feel it again. They simply wanted to lie there, basking in the glow.

Duo smiled against the naked skin of his lover's chest. He had never felt anything like that before. He had never fathomed that he could feel this way about anyone. Nor that anyone could care for him with such a passion. He had never wanted to be this close. He had feared. . ._ always_ feared what could happen if he had ever let himself get this close to anyone. All those that he had ever cared about had died and all without him saying what was in his heart. Perhaps they had known all along, but this was one person that he wanted to tell. He _needed_ to tell. "I love you, Heero." 

Duo feared it was too quiet and he hadn't heard, but a reassuring squeeze and a kiss to his hair told him otherwise.

Duo looked up to his love's penetrating gaze, meeting it equally. "You're awake after all, Heero."

"Did you mean it, Duo?"

"Of course I did, Heero. And I'll say it again. I love you, Heero Yuy. And that's not just the residual glow talking, either. It's the truth. And I'll never feel otherwise."

__

Won't you, Duo? He thought. But any further thought was pushed from his mind at the moment when Duo brushed his lips with his own.

"I would have thought you'd be asleep be now . . . but no, I guess I should expect it with _your_ stanima," Duo smirked. He didn't expect Heero to say anything. He didn't want to ruin it and neither did Heero. Heero simply kissed him lightly and guided his head back onto his chest. Duo welcomed the embrace and the warm, fatigued, euphoric feeling it brought with it. And soon, he was asleep, leaving Heero alone to his thoughts . . . and the cold.

__

He's finally asleep. I wish I could join him, but my mind refuses to give in to the fatigue of my body. I should be tired, and I am, thanks to Duo, Heero smiled inwardly at the thought. _Duo . . . poor, sweet Duo. What I have I done to you? I have taken that which can never be returned. But worst of all, I have stolen your heart. _

He says he loves me, and I don't doubt it. But I cannot say the same. I acted on my emotions and the likewise events followed. But what will be the consequences of my actions? What if Duo . . . it could happen. I've seen if before. People care for others so much that they lose regard for their own life . . . and lose it. It can't happen, not to my Duo . . . My Duo . . . If only it could be true. But there are so many reasons why we shouldn't be together. We can't be together, especially if Duo wants to live. And why wouldn't he? He is the essence of life, despite his name of Death, and I won't let him die because of me. If it's me that would cause his death, then it is I who must go. But not now. Not yet. He deserves this night of happiness, and I won't let go of him. Not yet. Just one night of complete happiness for my beautiful life-light. Hold on, Duo. Hold onto this night, forever.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

All through the night, they stayed together just like that. Heero did not want to let go, but the blue light heralded the start of a new day. The others would be awakening soon. He had to leave before then. There would be too many questions, none of which he wished to answer.

As the night wore on, Duo's grip slackened. Now, Heero could leave. Duo would not fight him in his sleep tonight, his body was simply too exhausted. Quietly, Heero slipped out from beneath an unconscious Duo. Heero froze at the side of the bed. Duo did not awake. He dressed silently, always keeping his eyes on Duo. When dressed, he approached the sleeping figure once more. The sheet hung loosely around Duo, but when he rolled onto his back the sheet clung to his body. He brought his legs up close, tightening the sheet's hold on his legs. They were muscular and lean. _Perfect._ The thought of those legs, those legs wrapped tightly around him almost made him forget that nagging feeling inside that choked away all thoughts of a future. A future . . . with Duo.

Against all his instincts, he laid one last kiss upon Duo's well kissed lips. At least, he told himself it would be the last. _That is my last gift to you, along with last night. I'm sorry that I can't give you more. So sorry. You deserve more. So much more. So much that I can't give. I have only myself to give, but I'm not free, Duo. I'm not free to live. I don't deserve it and you do. That is why I must go. Goodbye, my Duo. I hope the light in your eyes never fades. Please forgive me. One day, I hope you will understand. I have to go now, my Duo._

He walked backwards to the door, opening it with one blind hand. The word caught in his throat, strangling him, but he choked it out anyway. "Sayonara."

And with that one word said, Heero closed the door.

Duo turned in his sleep, searching silently for his missing companion. "Heero . . . "

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

As Heero walked across the lawn and towards the woods that secluded his Gundam, he couldn't help wondering why, for once, he had bothered to change into his jeans. He buried his hands deeper into the pockets of his jacket. _What a morning to have to do this. Well, no one said you had to. You chose to on your own._ Heero exhaled deeply through his open mouth, producing a chill, misty reminder of what he was leaving behind. Warmth. And companionship. "Hn?" A small snowflake fell just in front of the tip of his nose. He stopped suddenly. _Why do I have this sudden urge to turn around?_ He shook the feeling off forcefully. _No. What I'm doing is best for the both of us. Duo will thank me for this one day. But that means I'd have to see him again. And I'm not about to let that happen. If I see him again, then I might lose all resolve. I'm not going back._

A cool kiss of the wind against the back of his neck forced one vulnerable shiver from within him that radiated through his whole being. _Maybe just one more look wouldn't hurt._ Slowly, he started to turn his head.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

As Duo reached a lone arm out beside him, he touched only empty, bare sheets. He sat up suddenly, "Heero . . .?" His eyes searched the room for any sign of the Wing pilot. He found none.

__

Was it all just a dream? As he began to bite down on his lip, he stopped. _The cut . . . then I was captured. But what about last night? Was last night real too?_ On an impulse he looked down at the floor next to the bed. Sure enough, one pair of black boxers. _So it did happen._ Duo smiled weakly. _And Heero's no where in sight._ Duo stood, pulled on his boxers, and stretched. "Wow, what a night! I wonder where Heero went off t-"

As Duo opened his eyes, a surprising sight greeted him out the glass balcony door. _A snowflake and . . ._ "Heero . . ." He was wearing his jacket and jeans. "Must be a cold one this morning. But where . . ."

Suddenly, the walking Heero stopped. Duo smiled. "Hey, Heero! _Up here!_" Duo's shoulders slumped as his smile faded. "He can't hear me." He walked to the door and tested it. "_Damn_, it won't open. _Heero!_"

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Heero stopped turning his head in mid motion. Another snowflake. _What am I doing? What do I expect to see? Duo? I can't look back. I need to keep going. I need to leave. That is my mission. To continue on alone, emotionless, and with only missions present in my mind._ And without another thought, Heero continued on his solitary journey. He never once looking back as his only companions, many solitary snowflakes, began to fall.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo was frozen in his place, unmoving. _He's not going to turn around. He's not going to stop. He's . . . leaving. But why? Was it something I did? Something I . . . said?_ Duo gulped. _Last night, I told him I loved him. I didn't expect him to say it. Is that why he left? Because he didn't return my feelings?_

The snowflakes continued to fall toward the earth, each intangibly different from the others, each beautifully angelic in its own right, and each eternally alone with none to accompany it. _Fallen . . . angels . . . like . . ._ "Heero, if you need to go, then go. I won't stop you."

As Heero disappeared through the line of trees, Duo could have sworn he felt something on his cheek. "No tears. Not now. Not ever."

It _feels_ like the end . . . doesn't it?

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

And you thought that last part was the ending? Nope. Still more. Think I was too cruel to Duo? Then, by all means, send all the usual to:duonotsuin@yahoo.com


	7. Shikanenai: Part 7

****

Title: Shikanenai – Part 7

****

Series: Gundam Wing

****

Standard Disclaimers: 

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own _Justice Boy_'s official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "_Futou!!_" _No_, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops*But I _did_, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

****

Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

****

Rating: for reasons below . . . PG–13 

****

Warnings: 

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama – Duo-chained-up – ( not like _that_ you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

Shikanenai

– capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

PART SEVEN

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Something is wrong, Nataku. I feel it. After the battle last night, everything seemed well enough. Perhaps even too well. Heero and Duo are together now, but something does not sit right with me. For me to envy such happiness would be an injustice in itself. I will not do that. They are the closest people I have to real friends. We are all so different, Nataku. But it appears that perhaps the final line has been drawn. They have something I can never have . . . now. They are truly blessed. But with such a blessing, comes great responsibility. And to overlook such a blessing . . . is to spend one's life alone. I know that now, Nataku. I failed you in your life. But I will not fail you in your death.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"So, how's the patient doing today?"

Duo wanted to say, _How do you think I'm doing?_ But thought better of the blatantly sarcastic remark. _May as well tell him the truth._ Jumping up onto the examination table, Duo answered without his usual grin. "_Patiently_ awaiting a clean bill of health so he will cease being suffocated by all those overly protective of him _and_ their questions."

The doctor laughed and watched as the braided boy absently drummed on the table. "Well, now that I've met you, it's easy to see _why_ they've all been acting so concerned."

Duo grinned. "Can't wait for my room to empty up, can they?"

"_Heavens_, no." 

"Well, it _does_ have the best view . . ."

"Young man . . ."

"Duo."

"Well, Duo, I didn't mean that they were _acting_ concerned. They _were_ all concerned for your health." 

"All?"

"Yes, _all_ of them. They care about your well being as if you were their brother, a close member of their family."

"A . . . _family_. Wow, I've never really known what it's like to have a family. I mean, a _real_ one. And one that actually _lasted _. . ."

"Were you an orphan?"

"Yeah, I guess I . . . _was_, as you put it."

"I'm glad to hear that things have changed."

"Yeah, thanks. But people, however, rarely ever change."

"In what way?"

"It's just . . . things happen . . . special circumstances arise and _strange_ things happen."

"Hm. I seem to know what you mean."

"Yeah, but how?"

"I'm a _doctor_. If _strange_ things didn't happen and there were no _special_ circumstances, then I would be out of a job."

"I could see that."

The doctor chuckled suddenly.

"What? What's so funny?"

"In my line of work, people call on you when they don't know what to do, or even just when they need someone else to take control. But when someone _else_ tries to take over for me . . ."

"What _are_ you talking about?"

"The night I was brought here to help you, I was, as usual, prepared to take over, but . . ."

"But, _what_?"

"Let's just say there was someone who _couldn't_ let me take over the situation."

Duo paled. "Heero . . ."

"Yes, I believe _that_ was his name."

"What happened?"

The doctor related to Duo everything that he could remember, which, despite his age, was a lot.

"So, that's what happened while I was unconscious," Duo said slowly and quietly.

"Yes, does this surprise you?"

"More than you or _anyone_ will ever know."

"Well, it was strange behavior. Or, at least, that's the impression I got from the rest of them."

"It's not the way he _acted_. Heero's always wanted things done on _his_ terms and his alone without _any_ interference in his plans."

"That much I gathered. So, it wasn't _how_ he acted as much as _why_ he did so."

"Yeah, that's the bad news. No one knows."

"Would you like to hear another prospective? _My_ perception of the events that took place?"

"Sure, what the Hell. It's not like I haven't been getting it from _everyone_ else lately."

"I'm sorry, I had no idea. And I had no right to suggest it."

"Now, hold on a minute. I didn't say you shouldn't have suggested it. I guess I'm still a little overwhelmed, considering _everything_ that's happened to me lately. And everyone's been offering me advice or information lately, but somehow _no one_ can say it all at once. So every extra bit I can get my hands on is just one step closer to what I want to know."

The doctor sighed. "I can see why they all were so upset at the prospect of losing you. They all showed it in different ways but they all felt it."

"I guess that's how the people in _my_ line of work are."

"Perhaps."

"But, please, do continue."

"No one in that room wanted you to . . ."

"Die. It's okay. It's almost happened before."

"Yes, well, they all showed it, in their ways. Master Quatre, he tried to keep everything under control, but he knew he couldn't so he sought me out. The tall one . . ."

"Trowa."

"Trowa. He was there for Quatre offering him whatever he could to help him help you."

"Makes sense."

"The Chinese boy, Wufei, was it?"

"Yes."

"He was quiet through it. He helped me find everything I needed to help you."

"That in itself seems strange. But I'm learning."

"And the other, Heero. He wanted everything to be done and done perfectly. He was so _cold_. The others seemed to almost fear what would happen if I failed. He was rude and unforgiving. But still I listened to him, when it was beneficial, and here you are. As much as I hate to admit it, you _would not_ be alive without him."

"Well, he _was_ the one who found me."

"Yes, and what luck that was."

"Luck? What do you mean, _luck_?"

"What, you didn't know?"

"I read the mission profile and the debrief, but I wasn't looking for _that_ bit of information at the time."

"Ah, yes, I heard. And the one who was saved became the savior."

"I guess you could say that."

"What luck it must have been to find the little bit of data that the others missed. Hm, strange how luck played such a lifesaver in your life . . . and more than once."

"Luck? Is that what you _really _think it was?"

"Well, if not that, then fate. I, myself, don't believe in luck. After all, I'm a doctor."

"Oh, so _now_ you tell me."

"Well, whatever it was, it led him to you. And that's all that matters, isn't it?"

"Yeah. You're right, Doc. You're absolutely right. Now, how about that check up?"

"Alright, but if your demeanor's any clue, then you're mostly, if not _completely_, recovered from all your injuries."

"I sure hope you're right. More than _anything_ in the world, I hope you're right." _I need to be recovered. It's been a day since all the excitement ended. And this very morning my true recovery began._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Nataku, the something I thought would happen did. Heero is gone. We don't know why he left. And no one dares speak of it aloud, for Duo's sake. His joyous mask is back. He is truly in pain.

Heero did not recognize what he has. I consider it a great weakness based on my experiences. What he has is so much more than what he could ever have with . . . Relena. She is not the one for him. He deserves someone strong that can understand us. And smiling brought by humor is more meaningful when compared with death wishes brought on by sickness. He needs someone who will help him appreciate life, rather than immediately condemning him for taking it. We know this, but does he?

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Is there something on your mind, Quatre?" Trowa asked the agitated boy who had so quickly moved into his embrace after entering his room sometime ago.

"Hum?"

"Or some_one_, perhaps?"

"Yes," Quatre sighed.

"Tell me, please."

As Quatre absently drew a circle on Trowa's chest, he debated whether or not he should. It had only been a few days. Why couldn't he just let it go? _But I can't,_ he thought. _Duo is in too much pain._ "I still can't believe that Heero's gone. He left so suddenly . . . so soon after . . . he and Duo . . ."

"They've always been close."

"And on a level which _none_ of us could ever reach with them."

"Wufei would be thankful for that."

Quatre smiled. "A joke, Trowa?"

"I'm sure his nose would start bleeding _immediately_ if _that_ ever crossed his mind."

Quatre's smile faded. "I feel so powerless, Trowa. I wish there was something I could do . . . for Duo. He is try _so hard_ to act like it doesn't bother him. But when I run into him and he is alone . . . his face is so empty. It's scary. Duo has _never_ been like this. Except when . . ." Quatre drifted off.

"Except when what, Quatre?"

"After Heero self-destructed and Duo and I found our way to that base in the desert, he and I talked."

"About what?"

"About everything. Who we were, our objectives, and . . . our mistakes. When Heero was mentioned . . . he seemed so bleak, so . . . _hopeless_. Up until a few days ago, I could hardly remember if I _ever_ sw Duo truly unhappy. But now . . ."

"He _is_ unhappy."

"And it's _still_ about Heero. Poor Duo . . . I wish I could help him. But whenever I approach him . . . he acts so _happy_. And then I can't bear mentioning _anything_ that could make him feel unhappy. But he won't show us any other side of himself. I just don't know what to do, Trowa."

"Quatre, you can't force people to change their hearts . . . especially when their pain is all they feel. Duo needs some time to himself right now. But when he's ready, he'll talk."

"You really think so, Trowa?"

"Yes, Quatre. Now, it's getting late. You need to rest."

"That's how you are, always looking out for me. You don't need to, you know. I _can_ take care of myself."

"I know, Quatre. But the truth is, I don't know how my life would be without you. I can't bear the thought of _ever_ losing you. I love you, Quatre."

"I love you too, Trowa."

"Now, get some sleep."

"I'll try. Although the prospect of doing what we did earlier again is not far from my thoughts . . . or my dreams."

"Sweet dreams, my little Quatre."

"I love it when you call me that . . ." And with that he was drawn into the dreamworld where nothing bad could harm him.

At least, if Trowa had anything to say about it. His words served their purpose. Quatre would dream happily this night, although he might regret it in the morning. But Trowa didn't mind. He would just use new words in a similar purpose the next night. Anything to see the blond haired boy smile, but especially in his sleep. _He is still so innocent, despite all that's happened. It is a miracle that he has kept it so long. He is a miracle. My miracle. But Duo and Heero have yet to discover theirs. Maybe a little help wouldn't hurt . . . this time._ Trowa's gaze lilted on Quatre's delicately smiling, sleeping face. _Still, I can't help but wonder myself. Why did you leave, Heero? Did you not find what you wanted . . . or was it the opposite? Did you find it . . . and then you simply knew not what to make of it?_

Quatre snuggled closer to Trowa's body in his sleep, calling for him to join him . . . even in the dreamworld. _I know how you feel, Heero. I've been there. But you need to find your own way back. And Duo is most likely the only one who can guide you. Quatre was there for me. And so will Duo be for you. Don't ever forget that. I haven't . . ._ Trowa let his body relax into the waiting arms of a dreaming Quatre. A smile tugging at his lips, he brushed them against Quatre's hair. _. . . And I won't. But if I ever do, then Quatre will be there for me once more. Duo needs you, Heero. And you need him so much that you fear you might break him. But he won't break with you. He is strong . . . like all of us. Without you . . . we all fear what might happen. He needs you, Heero. Don't let your pride blind you. Trust your emotions, for they lie in your heart. And, if my observations are correct, you heart exists solely for Duo. For without him, who knows how you would turn out. And if not for you . . . the light will fade from his eyes. I've seen it happen and, believe me, that's not something that even you should ever have the bad luck to see. If luck exists, that is._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo leaned against the sturdy railing of the balcony. His arms crossed in thought and placed on the edge, he gazed blindly at the snow covered grounds. _Too bad it's too early for the others to be up. I need a distraction. I'd sleep but that bed is no comfort to me now._ He remembered brief moments of him and Heero being there together. "Damn you, Heero."

Duo heard a footstep behind him. It wasn't Heero. Wufei would come out here, especially with _anyone_ else out here. Quatre was probably still asleep, due to the early hour. That left only Trowa.

Trowa walked up to the railing.

Duo stretched, sighing sleepily as he did so. "Hey, morning, Trowa, buddy. What are you doing up so early?"

"I could ask the same of you."

"Uh . . . there are simply too many hours in a day for sleep. There's just too much to do."

"Hm."

"So what's your excuse? Why aren't you, uh . . . you know."

"With Quatre?"

"Well, yeah."

"He is asleep. The little guy's tired." Trowa's lip curled slightly at the thought of him.

"Oh," Duo's eyes grew wide in recognition. "Yeah, it's easy to forget sometimes," he said quietly.

Silence followed. Trowa's trademark conversational skills. _But silence this time,_ he thought, _would do nothing to improve the situation._

__

Damn, why did I have to bring up him and Quatre. The more I think about them, the more I think about . . .

"What is it about you blue eyed boys?"

"Huh?"

"You blued eyed boys, you try too hard to hide your emotions. But in doing so, you usually only show more of what you try to hide."

"Oh, well, Quatre and I . . ." Duo began trying to make up a worthy excuse.

"Aren't you forgetting someone."

"Who?" Duo spat out, realizing the answer as soon as the question had left his mouth.

"Heero," Trowa offered insightfully.

"Heero?! That guy's as cold as they come. He has no emotions. And even if he did . . . well, he wouldn't _ever_ show them."

"He has blue eyes, doesn't he?"

"Yeah," Duo sighed. He could _never_ forget those piercing cobalt eyes. "Not that _that_ has much to do with anything."

"Those eyes show more than either of you know."

"Hn. Like what?" Duo said sarcastically.

"Think, Duo. Why _did_ he free you from that prison?"

"So he could kill me later," he remarked bitterly.

"Wouldn't it have been easier for him to kill you there?"

"Yeah. But who knows? Maybe Heero thought he could _torture_ some information out of me first."

"Torture . . ." Trowa raised an eyebrow ". . . so _that's_ what it was like."

Duo blushed. "Well, not exactly."

"Duo . . ."

"Yeah, Trowa?"

"Why can't you see what we've seen for as long as we've know the two of you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Quatre would kill me if I said anything. He will probably be mad that I've said anything to you at all."

"Now, don't be _too_ hard on him. He might just be a _little_ jealous. That's all."

"He shouldn't be. He knows how I feel about him. And he knows that no one could ever change that."

"I wish I had _his_ confidence. You and Heero are _a lot_ alike."

"Hai. We _both_ believe we would act on our emotions."

"Nani . . ." Duo's jaw dropped.

"Don't be so surprised."

"How do you know _that_?"

"After Heero self-destructed . . ." Duo remembered that. It was one of the worst days of his life. ". . . and awoke from the coma, he told me that the only way to live a good life is to act on your emotions. Even people like us."

"_Heero_ said _that_!"

"Hai."

"Man! Who would've thought. Heero acting on _emotions_. He sure doesn't seem like the type."

"Just because someone is quiet, it doesn't mean that they are void of emotion."

"Quatre would sure agree with that. He used to swear that you weren't as . . ."

"As what?"

"Uh, as . . ." _Oh, what the Hell, it's the truth._ ". . . stuck up as I _thought_ you were. I realized that no one that Quatre felt about, like he does you, could be as heartless as he seemed to be."

"Heero is like that as well. Just give him time. He tries to act as tough as his 'perfect soldier' ideal. He knows much of war, but emotions, tools of peacetime, are something that was not mentioned in his training."

Duo laughed. "_That's_ for sure. The was probably born with a gun in his hand. Speaking of which, where do you think he hides it? I mean, every time he wears that tanktop and shorts he has a gun on him . . . somewhere . . ."

"Duo, be serious. Your act doesn't fool any of us, especially Quatre. If you talked to him about Heero, I'm sure he would consider it great progress. But for now . . . be patient. Heero _will_ come back. He can't avoid you forever."

"Yeah, maybe not. But knowing Heero . . . he will _definitely_ try."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

I can't believe I'm doing this, Duo thought as he approached the door to Heero's now vacant room. _It's not like he left a note or anything that could tell me where he went. But still . . . I just want to look . . ._ His hand froze as it encircled the cold metal knob. _No, I shouldn't. This is stupid! Just how obsessed are you, Duo Maxwell?_ The question itself was reminiscent of the Japanese pilot. Duo smiled. _This much._

As Duo opened the stubborn door, the air itself tried to escape the dismalness of the dark, empty room in a quick rush. He fumbled for the light switch and flicked it on. Duo had to admit, it wasn't quite what he expected it to be. No, it was much _more_. He had never actually been inside Heero's room before. Oh, he had wanted to, but he never found the opportunity. 

Duo had expected to see an empty room. He had expected nothing more form the soldier code-named Heero Yuy. But as he had done many times lately, he had grossly underestimated him.

The room was the same size as Duo's, but its coloring, the distinct showpiece of the room, and the overall atmosphere of the room gave it its own signature upon the house. The ceiling, all four walls, the thick carpet, and even the drawn curtains were dark blue. No, _cobalt_ blue. But each held their own significant anomalies. The textured ceiling took on the shape of a starlit sky in this soft indoor light. Th walls, though covered mostly by many hardwood bookcases and other pieces of furniture, had small almost indecernable shapes dotting the dark wallpaper. _Are those clouds? No, too small. Stars? No, not them either. They almost look like angels. Wait a minute, the carpet . . . it's not a solid blue, it's got other shades of blue, silver, grays, and even some white . . . like clouds._

And over the sea of clouds loomed one object. It _was_ the showpiece of the room. The large, canopied, mahogany four poster bed seemed to be floating on the cloudlike carpet. With sheets of blue, also cobalt, the bed was covered in many ornate carvings. From the frame to the headboard, to the posts and up toward the canopy, the evidence of _how_ the bed floated became apparent. Angels. Well, perhaps cherubs, but either way they still danced with the potency of life radiating outward from within. Duo couldn't resist. Entranced, Duo approached the bed. Letting his fingers glide against the smooth, bright wood, he examined it all. Some played horns lires, and violins, others were flying, floating, or lounging, but always they were peaceful. Their eyes shone bright than stars and their smiles surpassed all known feelings of happiness.

Duo smiled. _Reminds me of someone I knew. Or, at least, I thought I knew him,_ he conceded as his smile likewise faded away. Giving into the sadness of revelation, Duo let himself sink onto the bed. _He's gone. He's really gone. And he's not coming back. It's all my fault . . ._

"Duo? Duo, what are you doing in here? I've been looking everywhere for you," a concerned voice said softly from the doorway.

__

Quatre. Duo started to put on his grief masking grin, but thought better of it. _"Duo Maxwell, I may run and hide, but I never tell a lie . . ." Cut the crap, Baka. Better start being honest . . . to yourself and the others._ "Nothing, really. Just thinking."

"You could have done that _anywhere_ else."

"I know. I guess . . . I needed to capture something . . ._ anything_ that he left behind. Any thought, any feeling, or just _anything_. I needed to see something that was his. Does what I'm saying make _any_ sense?" Duo asked with calm desperation.

"You miss him."

"Yeah, I do," Duo said matter-of-factly.

Slowly, Quatre made his way into the room and leaned against the desk across from Duo and the bed. Taking in the room once again, Quatre spoke, "When Heero chose this room I couldn't believe it, and I still can't."

"You mean he chose this _himself_?"

"Yes, although whether he did it intentionally or not I don't know. We were walking the halls and I asked him what room he wanted. He said he didn't care, but I insisted he choose. Then, he stopped and said, 'This one.' I asked him if he was sure and he opened the door, entered, and said, 'This one is fine,' as he closed the door."

"Do you think he chose this room intentionally?"

"I don't think so, if you mean that he had seen it already and preselected it."

"Somehow, I doubt it. Quatre . . ."

"Yeah, Duo."

"Do you believe in fate?"

Quatre knew Duo was no longer talking about Heero's room. Well, at least the 'Heero' part was right. "I believe that everything happens for a reason."

"So then it was supposed to end this way. I should have known. How could I have been so blind . . ."

"No, Duo. You misunderstood. Fate is a powerful thing . . . but it can only get you so far. Fate is the road we walk to our destinies. It's up to us to make the choices that shape our destiny."

"So fate is the journey and destiny is what we make of the journey."

"Yeah. At least, that's what I believe."

"Thanks, Quatre. That helps a lot."

"Things didn't go quite as you hoped."

"No, but I don't know what I expected. I guess I overestimated the toll it would take on Heero."

"Or you're underestimating him now."

"Don't make me get my hopes up, Quatre. It's easier if I think he won't be back. That way when he doesn't come back, I won't be disappointed."

"That's not true, Duo."

"I know. I'll miss him no matter what."

"No, I mean he _will_ be back."

"That's what Trowa said."

"He talked to you?"

"Yeah, this morning before you . . . oh. I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"And why not?"

"He thought that you would be mad at him."

"For what? For talking to my friend when he told _me_ not to?"

"Hey, hold on, Quatre," Duo began as he raised his hands in a peaceful manner, "He was just giving me another perspective to look at the situation."

"And did it help?"

"Well, at least now I have _some_ idea of what could have gone through Heero's mind after . . ."

"After what, Duo?"

"I don't know if I should say anything."

"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. I'm just here to listen."

"And maybe give some _advice _. . ." Duo taunted with a grin.

Quatre bowed his head. "Yeah. Maybe that too."

"Hey, Quatre, I knew you and Trowa just want to help. But you can't force him to come back."

"I know, Duo."

"And Quatre . . ."

"Yeah, Duo."

"Don't go feeling sorry for yourself."

"I'll tell you what, I won't if you won't, Duo."

Duo thought it over . . . for less than a second. "Alright, it's a deal!"

"But Duo . . . you can still talk to me. Especially if you feel sorry for yourself."

"You're a great friend, Quatre."

"So are you, Duo."

"So . . . when's lunch?" Duo grinned genuinely.

Quatre laughed. "Right now, if you're hungry."

"You bet I am!" Duo leapt from the bed and placed his hands on his hips. "Now, where's the Silencer and the Dragon?"

"I don't know. Probably . . ."

"Working! Well, you and I will just have to go find them and wave some of that _de-liscious_ food under their noses until they're practically _begging_ us to let them try some."

"Sounds dangerous," Quatre countered as they walked toward the door.

Duo froze in his tracks and turned to face the Sandrock pilot. "Aw, come on, Quatre. Give a _little_ credit. After an encounter with Heero Yuy . . . I can handle _anything_."

To be continued.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Sounds like Duo's doing okay without Heero around. Yup, it just might work out after all. Send it all to: duonotsuin@yahoo.com


	8. Shikanenai: Part 8

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Title: Shikanenai – Part 8

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Series: Gundam Wing

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Standard Disclaimers: 

Yes, yes, the rules are still the same . . . we may write fanfiction as long as we don't claim ownership of Gundam Wing or those kawaii little bishounen. To quote from our own _Justice Boy_'s official battlecry (coming soon to a ficlet near you . . . maybe), "_Futou!!_" _No_, he didn't just say what you think he did!! Sheesh, you friggin' potty mouths! *audience sweatdrops*But I _did_, however, write this story. It is born of my own insanity, my views on life, and, of course, those dopey li'l romance novel induced ice-cream urges.

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Spoilers: Up to Ep 25, I think.

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Rating: for reasons below . . . PG–13 

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Warnings: 

It's a slight AU(ok, alt-timeline), fluff, angst, drama – Duo-chained-up – ( not like _that_ you hentais ;), some violence, lime content (some characters have sex but it's not described play for play), and some swearing. 

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

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Shikanenai

– capable of anything

By Duo no Tsuin

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

****

PART EIGHT

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo's lunch plan _had_ worked after all. For one afternoon, the house seemed to have traveled back in time. Duo was his old, cheerful, rambunctious self. Quatre was honestly trying not to laugh. And as far as Trowa and Wufei's reactions go, they couldn't figure out this sudden transformation and were shocked to silence.

The afternoon was _perfect_. And then, _somehow_ came the alcohol. The events went as usual. Trowa held his own well in the drinking contest. Wufei, though he appeared to be doing well, suddenly passed out on the couch. And Quatre and Duo, well, they were reduced to their usual drunken stupor. The contest never had a definite winner, though, because Quatre and Duo soon found their own antics more amusing. Nothing seemed amiss, but there was an ever present absence that silently demanded to be filled. But Heero was still no where to be found.

The time did eventually come when the party was officially over. As Trowa's tower toppled due to Duo's sudden collision with it, annoyed green eyes challenged Duo's bright apologetic ones. Quatre couldn't help himself and he was soon rolling on the floor in fitful laughter. Trowa stood and Duo backed away arms raised in surrender. "Now, Trowa, calm down. I didn't mean it. It was an _accident_."

Trowa's determined face did not falter. 

Duo was sobering up in a hurry. He gulped. "Trowa, man, I don't know what you think you're doing, but-- "

"Quatre, come on. It's time for you to go to bed," Trowa coaxed as he leaned over a still laughing Quatre.

"But, Trowa, I'm having so much- hic- fun!"

"I know you are, Quatre. But believe me you're no fun the next morning."

"_What_?!"

"Come on, let's go," Trowa grabbed Quatre's arm and started to lift him up off the floor. But Quatre had his own ideas.

When not under the influence of alcohol Trowa had superior balance, but Trowa's state was no match for Quatre's pull and gravity combined. Down Trowa tumbled. "No, you come _here_," Quatre laughed as he wrapped his arms around a shaken Trowa.

"Uh, Quatre . . ."

"What is it, my Trowa?" Quatre purred into Trowa's ear.

Trowa's eyes drew Quatre's to rest on a shocked Shinigami pilot and a sleeping Wufei beyond him.

Quatre's smile faded slightly. "Oh, I see your point. Uh, Trowa . . ."

"I'll help you up," he offered as he stood.

"Thanks," Quatre moaned as his brain joined his skull next to a calm Trowa's shoulder, "I think."

"What about Wufei?" Duo wondered.

"He'll be fine. He's mostly pretending to be asleep," Trowa said insightfully.

"Oh, so now he's too good to drink with _us_," Duo accused with purpose.

But much to his dismay, Wufei's reply was only a hushed grunt as he rolled away from the three drunken pilots.

Quatre laughed. "Goodnight, Wufei. Come on, let's go-_oh_!" Trowa caught and held Quatre firmly as his legs gave out beneath him. "Th-thanks, Trowa."

"You're welcome, Quatre," he returned as he looked with concern into the blue eyes he loved so much.

"Uh, Duo . . ." Quatre enquired, "Can you make it back alone okay?"

"Are you _kidding_ me? You know who you're talking to."

"That's why I asked." A now silent Trowa buried his smile in Quatre's hair.

"Hey!" Duo calmed his flustered ego. "I'll make it. It's not far from yours."

"True," Quatre conceded.

"_Now_ let's _go_. I need some sleep."

"But, Duo, it's still the afternoon . . . I think."

"I don't care. Oh, come _on_, you two. Take the afternoon off for _once_. Don't tel me you'd rather be _working_?!"

Trowa and Quatre's gazes met. "He _does_ have a point, Quatre."

"Yes," Quatre's mouth spread into a grin, "We _shouldn't_ let the afternoon go to _waste_."

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Duo leaned against the door, closing it. _Man, that was fun . . . I think._ Duo's thoughts drifted to Trowa and Quatre. _Well, at least one good thing will come out of this. Still, I can't help but wonder . . .where did Heero go? A mission? Most likely. Well, since he's gone . . . there's nothing keeping me out of this room._ Duo approached the right side of the bed. "Well, it's not like I could sleep in my room, even if I wanted to. So, what the Hell. May as well enjoy it while I can."

He entered the bathroom and observed himself in the mirror. _One thing I've never liked about alcohol is it stays with you. I ruins your breath and makes you careless of your appearance. I need a shower._ As Duo exited the shower, he began the process of drying his skin and his hair. _Well, at least I'm starting to feel like I'm sobering up._ He brushed his teeth thoroughly and downed many glasses of water. _As much as I dislike drinking plain water, it does wonders for hangovers before they happen._

While Duo sat on the bed brushing his hair, his eyes began to feel an even greater burden drawing them down. When finished he thought, _Well, I'm just going to go to bed now. I don't think I could stay awake long enough to braid it. Oh well, as if anyone would care, anyway. I give up. I need some sleep._

Duo parted the sheets and slipped beneath them. The cool sheets enveloped him, drowning him in the lingering smell of its long gone former occupant. He sighed deeply. _I might be able to get some sleep tonight after all._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

Why am I coming back here? Heero asked himself as he crossed the blanket of snow world. _Because those were the orders. "Rendezvous with the other pilots and await further orders."_ This time Heero was tempted to tell Dr. J _exactly_ where he could shove those orders, especially if they in _any_ way involved Duo Maxwell. _Well, here goes nothing._ He opened the door. _Where is everyone? And what is that sound?_ His keen ears followed it. And there on the couch at the far end of the room was a sleeping Wufei. _Wufei? Sleeping? And in the late afternoon? Well, early evening._ Heero's foot made contact with something on the floor. A can. And there was more where _that_ came from. A former tower's worth.

__

What the Hell is going on here? You leave for a few days and that's exactly what happens. Empty beer cans everywhere . . . and three pilots nowhere. And all in the afternoon. There was little doubt in Heero's mind where Trowa and Quatre were. But that only left Duo . . . _Most likely passed out in his room. He never could take his liquor._

"Well, well, well, the _Perfect_ Soldier returns," Wufei taunted from behind.

"Hm?" Heero turned stiffly and mentally began to prepare for _any_ confrontation. But he didn't expect a verbal assault.

Wufei stood with his arms crossed. "I have to hand it to you, Heero. I thought it would take you _a lot_ longer to come to your senses."

Voice raising slightly in volume, he asked, "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

Wufei spoke with slow, quiet intensity. "Hn. Don't tell me the reason why you left was a mission. Well, maybe your mind _made_ it your mission, but the fact is you left of your own free will. And all to runaway from a little, American pilot. Well, not just _any_ American. There was something about this one. Something that scared you. Oh, you'd never admit this to anyone, but even Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, has fears. And giving in to what your heart tells you is what scares you. One of the most common fears among humans is being alone. But not Heero Yuy. No, he fears _not_ being alone."

"Is there a point to this?"

Wufei approached Heero and lowered his voice to a calmer, _almost_ friendlier tone. "All I'm saying is that there's no justice in this world for those who are alone. Those who find someone to care for as they are cared for . . . those are the luckiest of all."

"But what if there is no luck?"

"Call it fate, if you wish, but don't throw it away. There are many who would envy such companionship."

"Do _you_, Wufei?"

Exactly what Wufei _thought_ was not important at this time. "I will say only this, I had my chance and because I did not realize it, I lost it. It may have been fate, but fate must be earned. And that is what I know now. Wars come and go, but fate is always there. It is the choices we make in life that determine our fate. Choose wisely, Heero. Don't make the same mistake I did."

He left as quickly as he had arisen, leaving a contemplating Heero in his wake. _Choose wisely . . . but what is the right choice?_

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Quietly, Heero made his way past the two rooms he so desperately wanted to avoid. He entered his room without bothering to turn on the lights. He knew the place well enough, even though the last time he actually slept there was before Duo's capture and disappearance. _Disa– no, I was the one who . . ._ Yes, he _had_ pulled an act of that nature. And now he had just as suddenly returned. _Who knows how Duo is going to react. It could be either extreme of happiness or sadness, somewhere in between, or both, knowing Duo. Well, I won't think about that now. Now, I may as well sleep. I'll need every bit of coherence I can get when I cross paths with Duo next. And it will happen, sooner or later, whether I want it to or not. But if I'm to have any semblance of control, then I'd prefer if it were later. I won't think about it now. Now, I'm going to lie down in my own bed . . . albeit an empty one, and give in to my body's cry to embrace sleep. _

Come to think of it, the last time I slept was that morning . . . that morning with Duo . . . in my arms . . . And as Heero climbed into his bed, all thoughts seemed to melt away.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Hm. Wh-what time is it?" Duo knew without looking that it was morning. _What's that sound?_ It was coming from outside. Music with notes rising and falling in a song to herald the new morning. _Birds. Well, at least they're happy this morning. But exactly how early is it?_ Duo groaned. He would have to look sooner or later. But later meant he would sleep even longer. Sooner was better.

Duo was lying on his right side. He would have to roll over to see the clock. Slowly, Duo tried to lift his body . . . but he set it back down where it was. _Did I tuck myself in last night or what? Baka, you probably just twisted the sheets around you in your sleep. But if that's true, then why are the sheets so heavy? Unless . . . oh, no. No way. It couldn't happen, again, could it? Heero's not even here. He's off on some mission . . . but if that were true, then why do those feel like strong, muscular arms around my waist? Am I dreaming? Please say I'm dreaming._

__

Open your eyes and see for yourself, he attempted to reason with his slowly waking mind. _I can't look. I just can't. It's him, it has to be. But what is he doing here? He can't possibly think I'll just take him back so easily . . . not that I ever had him._

As all feeling returned to Duo, the crushing grip of reality reawakened every part of him. All senses were now back in his use. But _especially_ touch. _What in the Hell am I doing? Is that . . . him . . . in my arms? Oh, no, it's happening all over again. No, it can't. I won't let it happen._ Resolve coursing through him, Duo warily opened his eyes . . . and saw himself nose to nose with a calmly sleeping Heero Yuy. "Dammit, Heero! What the Hell are you _doing_? Get your hands _off_ me!" Duo's arms pulled back reflexively only to push out ferociously.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

"Hm, wh-" Heero raised his slumbering eyelids as Duo's arms made contact. Not yet awake, Hero had no option but to take the force and roll off the bed. But as he approached the floor, his reactiveness came to. Shifting his body weight, he landed down on one knee with two hands poised in front of him to move again if necessary. _What the Hell just happened?!_ Across the bed, scrambling for the opposite side of the bed was a _very_ annoyed Duo Maxwell.

What's the big idea, Heero? Trying to seduce me as I sleep . . . _again_? Can't you see that I was trying to sleep–" 

"In _my_ bed?" Heero asked gruffly as he stood.

"It's not like you ever had a claim to it in the first place. Any claim you had left with you."

"So now I have no right to _sleep_? Whyare you _here_, Duo? You have your _own_ room–" 

"Yeah, well, a lot of things that seemed like they were mine turned out _not_ to be."

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"What do you think it means, Heero? After all, _your_ thoughts and feelings are _all_ that matters."

"Duo, I . . ."

"That's _always_ what it's about, how _you_ feel, what _you_ think, what _you_ do, and who _you_ are. It's all about Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, so just _screw_ everyone else . . ."

"Duo, stop it!"

"And just _why_ should I? So _you'll_ feel better? You don't have _any_ idea what I've been going through. And, what's worse, you don't even _care_."

"Duo . . ."

"No, _you_ stop it, Heero, just stop it. What right have you to come back here . . ._ now_? You left without telling me . . . while I was _asleep_. You didn't even have the guts to wait until I was awake. The least you could have done was leave before . . . before I . . . before _we _. . . well, I guess not. You can't expect the Perfect Soldier to have any manners or sense of decency, let alone any regard for another . . . why couldn't you just stay away? Why can't you just let me _be_?"

"I was given orders to comeback . . ."

"Oh, you were _ordered_ to, were you? Great, that's just _great_. Well, since you only respond to orders, then follow this one and get_-out_!" Duo turned on his heels, stomped into the bathroom, and slammed the door. "Oh," he yelled through the door, "And I suggest you _leave_ again be-_fore_I come back out." Silence.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

Shocked, that was the only way his confused mind could describe his reaction to Duo's outburst. _It's not like I didn't have it coming to me. I deserve whatever I get. And when Duo comes out I'm sure he'll give it to me. He needs time to cool off,_ Heero thought as he dressed. _There's no easy way for me to do this, Duo, but it must be done. And I'm not leaving until it's finished._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

__

What in the Hell am I doing? I'm hysterical. And to make matters worse, he isn't saying anything. Damn it, Heero. Just talk to me! Say anything. Say how much you hate me and can't stand me. Tell me that I'm the most despicable creature in the world . . . I don't care. Just say something . . . anything, so long as it's what you honestly feel. Duo's breathing began to slow and deepen once more. _Get a grip, Duo. Don't lose it, well . . . anymore than you already have. If you want him to speak, then show him that you'll listen. I'll give you one chance, Heero. Talk now or forever regret your mistakes because I can't and I won't._

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

To both pilots it seemed like an eternity before the bathroom door opened and a much calmer, more collected, and _clothed_ Shinigami pilot emerged. Arms crossed, he leaned against the doorjam and waited with downcast eyes. But he was growing evermore impatient with each moment that passed. "So, you decided to stay after all, eh Heero? Well, I guess _I'll_ leave then . . . this time."

As Duo walked toward the door without a glance toward Heero, he failed to see the figure moving after him. A hand captured his loose locks and held them with gentle intent. It was the only thing he could grab onto. "You wore your hair down . . ."

"Yeah, well, it wasn't for you."

"I know, But I always wanted you to."

Duo's heart clenched at the words. "I know. But why?"

"Why . . . "

Duo could feel Heero moving closer.

"It shines like silk . . ." Heero lifted the locks to his cheek. "And is infinitely softer. Duo . . ."

"Yeah, Heero?"

"Why did you suddenly decide to leave?"

"Wha . . ." _He wants to know why I am leaving him?_

"I know it hurts. And believe me, I never wanted you to feel that pain. I never wanted to leave, but theses horrible, terrifying thoughts kept going through my head."

"Like what?"

"I didn't want to be somebody's weakness . . . and I didn't expect that you would become one to me . . ."

"So that's what I am, a weakness." Duo shook his head sadly. "I knew it. I knew it."

"Duo, I was worried about us. What if we let our feelings cause our . . . _some_thing to happen . . . in the war."

"I kept thinking that if you, the Perfect Soldier, became distracted during a battle because of me and you d- . . . I couldn't live with myself if you lost . . . your _life_ because of me. As I told you before, I care for you, Heero, and I always will. But when I woke up that morning . . . you were gone . . . And to make matters worse, if they could have been then, I saw you, calmly walking away."

"Wha . . . you _saw_ me?"

"Yeah, I did."

"Why didn't . . ." It was an unneeded question. It was obvious _why_ he didn't stop him. "Duo, I-"

"I only want to know _one_ thing, Heero. You don't need to say anything more than that. Why did you leave? Was it because of something I did . . . or said? What was it that clinched your decision to leave?"

The question was simple. But the answer . . . it could destroy all that remained between them. But it could save it as well.

__

Where should I begin? And where do I go from there? Heero's words stung his own heart, as he heard a voice much like his own say, _It doesn't matter. Say anything. He's giving you the chance that you never gave him. Take it, now, before you lose him forever._ "Could we sit down first?" _Is that the best you could come up with?_ Duo turned to him wide-eyed. _Why is he looking at me like that?_

"Here?"

"It would be more private."

I don't know, Heero. Given what has happened lately whenever you've had me on a bed, I don't think it would be a good idea."

"Then you sit and I'll stand. Fair enough?"

"Oh, alright. But you stand on the _opposite_ side of the bed." His request seemed childish, but he felt it to be a necessary precaution. When he was situated on the right side of the bed once more, he crossed his legs and arms impatiently. "This had _better_ be good, Heero."

"That night after we . . ."

"Slept together, fucked, or whatever you call it."

" . . . you . . ."

"I _what_?"

"You said . . ."

"I said that I loved you. I know, I was there."

"I . . . I didn't know what to do or what to think, let alone what to . . . feel. You also said you didn't need me to answer, to return your admission. I didn't know how to respond to it. From what I have seen, l-love . . . it fades. It has no _real_ power. I wondered if that's what would happen with you. I know nothing about love. And I never have. I never understood _how_ people could fall in love. What could be so powerful about another being that could cause one to lose all reason? Because of this handicap, I had no way of knowing _why_ you loved me. Or even if it really _was_ love. It's only a word. But I couldn't understand the power that one little word has. And what we don't understand . . . we fear. Me, the soldier code-named Heero Yuy, who was trained to be the Perfect Soldier, was afraid. And of nothing more than one, four letter word. _That_ was unacceptable. Fear gets in the way. It distracts from the mission and causes death. I don't fear Death. I embrace him every time I enter a battle, setting my foot down as a falsely reassuring anchor. It's how we _all_ fight. Every time we're out there, we're searching for him. We want him to take us. We want it all to end, all the pain, all the suffering, and . . . all the fighting. But if the fighting ever _does_ end, we are cheated by Death, and forced to live, what will we do _then_? What will we have? What will we need? What, then, will we search for? Recently, even when away from battles, I sought the same thing off the battlefield. Where is Death? Why won't he take me? But I now know that Death could not take me, for I am the keeper of Death's heart. Without me, there would be no Death, and there would be no life . . . without _you_, Duo."

"Wha . . ."

"Before I met you, my mission was to save the colonies. But then, I never understood why I should. What was it that was worth saving? Simply, life. But at the time I did not realize it. I had never lived. Death was and _is_ my life. But then one day, two bolts of lightening pierced the sky. Or should I say my leg and arm? And there was Death, starring me down, and urging me to accept life. Maybe even to _love_ . . . life. And I do. With Death I have learned to love life. _You_ showed me what it was to live. Death _is_ life. You believe yourself to be Death himself. But know this. An angel of Death you may have been born to be, but an angel of life is always what you will be to me."

Duo stared unblinkingly at the Japanese pilot. 

"Do you understand what I'm saying, Duo?"

"Obviously not," Duo gulped nervously.

"Duo, you are Death and Life as one. _You_ are what I have been searching for. You _are_ the answer. For we would not know or love life, if there was no Death. And because of you as Death, I have come to love you . . . as my life. Ai shiteru, my Dark Angel of Life."

Duo shook his head slowly from side to side, closing his eyes. "No. No, Heero."

"Duo, what . . . I thought . . ."

Duo opened his eyes, red rimmed and glossy they were, and said quietly, "Dammit, Heero. Why'd you have to go and beat me _again_. I told you, simply though it may have been, and I still mean it when I say it again, I _love_ you, Heero. And _nothing,_ neither pride nor fear, nor my pain or your missions . . ." his lips curled into a smile, " . . . will _ever_ make me feel otherwise."

"I'm so glad to hear you say that," Heero sighed as he covered Duo's mouth with his. Slowly. They had time. Heero broke the kiss.

"_Again_, you mean," Duo challenged with a grin.

Heero laughed. "Yes, again . . ." 

Another kiss. " . . . and again . . ." 

A longer kiss. " . . . and again . . ." 

A deeper kiss. 

"Heero, there's–" All pilots froze in their tracks. At the door, stood a surprised Trowa and Quatre. And behind them . . . a wide eyed Wufei to complete the picture. And all three stared at the two equally shocked embracing pilots.

Heero cleared his throat. "What is it now, Trowa?"

__

So, I did interrupt something that day. "We just got a message with new orders. You and Duo are to . . ."

"Is it _another_ school assignment?" Duo whined.

"Well, yeah."

"Can you send them a message back? Heero asked calmly.

"Sure. What message?"

"You can tell them that they can take the orders and shove them up their pale, shriveled old–"

"Hey! Hold on a sec, Heero."

"What now, Duo?"

"I kinda feel like taking a little trip. And schools are reportedly slow moving, so the teachers hand out less homework this time of year . . ."

"So?"

"There's _always_ time for homework _during_ class, which leaves time after for. . ._ alternative_ activities," Duo winked mischievously.

"Hm. On second thought, Trowa, tell them–" 

"You need a few hours to . . . check the equipment."

"Understood." Heero gazed longingly at the pilot next to him. And then, suddenly, smiled. "Ninmu . . . ryoukai."

"I'd never thought I'd be so glad to hear _those_ words again."

"That's our cue!" A previously shocked to silence Quatre blurted out, grabbing Trowa's arm to leave. As the door closed, he smiled and said, "I _can't_ believe it."

"Well, I think it's _about_ time," Wufei observed.

Quatre's smile brightened. "We'd _all_ have to agree with you on that, Wufei."

"Maybe there _is_ some justice left in this world after all," Trowa theorized.

Wufei's eyes shot open. "_Justice_ . . ."

"You did it this time, Trowa."

"It's worth it, Quatre, just knowing that they found each other at last."

Quatre smiled at his tall, loving, beautiful Trowa. How did he _ever_ go through life without him? "I know _exactly_ how they feel," he whispered as his arm encircled Trowa's, leaving the two pilots to explore their newfound love. Now _anything_ was truly possible.

Owari.

*~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~**~~~~~~~~~~~~~*

*sniff sniff* You didn't really think that I'd end it all sad, did you? What can I say, I believe that saying, "It is better to have love and lost than to never have loved at all," or however it goes. It just so happens that these two end up together . . . this time. But time doesn't end here – even for fictional characters. If you made it this far, thank you for reading. I wish we all could find in real life what these two had in these pages. duonotsuin@yahoo.com


End file.
